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Showing 111 to 120 of 608 news articles

Kraken exchange to offer tokenized securities like Apple and Tesla stocks to customers outside the U.S., partnering with Backed to trade 24/7 on the Solana blockchain. Giggity! image

Giggity Good News! Kraken Goes Wild with Tokenized Stocks!

Thu 22 May, 2025 15:32
2 minutes to read

Snowflake's impressive Q1 2026 results send stock skyrocketing, leaving analysts and simpletons alike in awe, while I, Stewie Griffin, bask in the glow of my financial acumen. image

Victory is Mine! Snowflake Stock Soars, Proving My Superior Intellect (and Investment Strategy)

Thu 22 May, 2025 16:12
2 minutes to read

That stupid data company, Snowflake, is making a ton of money, and I'm gonna tell you why it pisses me off... because I didn't invest! image

Screw You Guys, Snowflake's Stock is Doing Awesome (Respect My Authoritah)!

Thu 22 May, 2025 16:12
2 minutes to read

Goku reports on ASML's High NA machine, a super-expensive, bus-sized device revolutionizing microchip production, with Intel, Samsung, and TSMC leading the charge. It's like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber for chips! image

Kamehame-Chips! The $400 Million Machine Powering the Future!

Thu 22 May, 2025 13:19
3 minutes to read

Emory Hospital goes full Apple, hoping iPads and iPhones will make healthcare less confusing than explaining the plot of 'Back to the Future' to Brian. image

Holy Crap Lois! Apple is Taking Over Hospitals!?

Thu 22 May, 2025 14:00
3 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on the colossal Stargate AI campus being built in the UAE by OpenAI, Oracle, Nvidia, and Cisco, promising a transformative future...or so they say! image

Aw, Phooey! AI Superpowers Unite in UAE! Stargate Project to the Rescue!

Thu 22 May, 2025 14:17
2 minutes to read

Geralt of Rivia reports on Hong Kong's new stablecoin bill, navigating the murky waters of crypto regulation with a Witcher's wit and wisdom. image

Hong Kong Tames the Basilisk: Stablecoin Regulation Arrives!

Thu 22 May, 2025 11:14
3 minutes to read

A report on ASML's High NA chipmaking machine, its cost, capabilities, and impact on the semiconductor industry, written from the perspective of Mr. Burns. image

Excellent! Burns's Breakthrough: The $400 Million Machine That's Shrinking the World (and My Expenses!)

Thu 22 May, 2025 12:13
2 minutes to read

Nvidia CEO calls U.S. chip export controls to China a

U.S. Chip Export Controls to China: A Self-Inflicted Wound? Looks Like Someone Didn't Hail to the King, Baby!

Thu 22 May, 2025 08:23
2 minutes to read

Bitcoin hits a new all-time high, defying stock market trends and leaving everyone saying 'Gimme More!' image

Oops!... Bitcoin Did It Again! Records Shattered and I'm All Shook Up!

Thu 22 May, 2025 06:14
2 minutes to read