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Donald Trump abruptly leaves the G7 summit, citing more pressing matters than mediating peace between Israel and Iran, and warns Iranian civilians to evacuate Tehran. image

Stay Out of Tehran! Trump Ditches G7, Says He Has Much Bigger Fish to Fry Than Ceasefires

Tue 17 June, 2025 06:23
3 minutes to read

Rocky Balboa's take on the G7 summit, where world leaders talked tough on Iran, Israel, and the whole shebang in the Middle East – plus some jabber about Trump's tariffs. image

Yo Adrian! G7 Says Israel's Gotta Right to Defend Itself!

Tue 17 June, 2025 04:06
3 minutes to read

Goku reports on the recent trade agreement between the US and Britain, featuring lower tariffs, unresolved steel issues, and a whole lot of Saiyan skepticism. image

Trump and Starmer POWER UP Trade Deal! But is it Strong Enough?

Tue 17 June, 2025 00:35
2 minutes to read

President Trump cuts his G7 visit short due to Middle East tensions, leaving allies scrambling and Ukraine hanging in the balance. All that and tariffs too, Doggfather style! image

Fo Shizzle, Trump Dips Early from G7: Middle East Heat Got Him Scootin'!

Tue 17 June, 2025 00:06
2 minutes to read

Trump cuts his G7 trip short amidst Middle East tensions and trade disagreements, leaving allies scrambling for unity. image

Trump Bails on G7: Middle East Inferno and a Whole Lotta Tariff Talk

Tue 17 June, 2025 00:06
2 minutes to read

As tensions rise between Iran and Israel, evacuation orders are issued amidst missile strikes, with markets showing a surprisingly muted reaction – a situation fraught with peril and requiring careful observation. image

A Most Unfortunate Escalation: Iran and Israel Trade Missiles, Markets Shrug... For Now

Mon 16 June, 2025 18:07
4 minutes to read

A Minnesota man is charged with multiple federal offenses after a politically motivated assassination attempt on state lawmakers, leaving a trail of destruction worthy of the Netherrealm. image

GET OVER HERE AND FACE JUSTICE: Minnesota Assassin Faces Mortal Kombat!

Mon 16 June, 2025 17:48
2 minutes to read

Bazinga! Political Assassinations? That's Just Crazy Talk! (And Bad Science)

Mon 16 June, 2025 16:24
3 minutes to read

Lara Croft investigates the Trump Organization's new mobile phone plan and smartphone, uncovering potential pitfalls and pricey promises. image

Trump Mobile: Is This Phone Plan Ready for an Expedition or Just Another Trap?

Mon 16 June, 2025 14:07
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on the escalating conflict between Iran and Israel, with oil prices and global markets feeling the heat. It's like that time I accidentally started a war with a bag of Cheetos! image

Holy Crap Lois! Iran and Israel are at it Again! This is Worse Than the Time I Tried to Deep Fry a Turkey!

Mon 16 June, 2025 12:16
3 minutes to read