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Professor Dumbledore lends his unique perspective to the week's top financial news, from Wells Fargo's liberation to boardroom battles at Warner Bros. Discovery. image

Wall Street's Crystal Ball: Dumbledore's Deliberations on Dough and Decisions

Wed 04 June, 2025 13:33
3 minutes to read

Toyota Industries' shares plummet after a $33 billion privatization deal that leaves investors feeling the sting of a Scorpion spear. image

GET OVER HERE and Get Your Shares Back! Toyota Tanks, Investors Cry 'TOASTY!'

Wed 04 June, 2025 11:30
3 minutes to read

Senate Republicans are pondering some tax breaks, but certain business owners might get the shaft... or not! Ace is on the case! image

Alllllrighty Then! Tax Breaks for Businesses? Ace Ventura Investigates!

Wed 04 June, 2025 09:35
4 minutes to read

Mr. Bean reports on how Steph Curry is scoring big both on and off the court with his Thirty Ink company, proving that even a bean could learn a thing or two about business! image

Steph Curry's Business Empire: From Basketball to Bourbon, It's All Bean There, Done That!

Wed 04 June, 2025 12:11
2 minutes to read

Sarah Connor analyzes the latest mortgage market news: Rates dip, but demand is DOA. Is this the end of the American Dream? image

No Fate But What We Make...Of Our Mortgage Rates!

Wed 04 June, 2025 11:56
3 minutes to read

The Dutch government collapses amid infighting over immigration policy and defense spending, leaving the country in political turmoil just weeks before hosting a crucial NATO summit. Talk about a hot mess, eh? image

Say Hello to My Little Government: Dutch Coalition Implodes Over Immigration and NATO Dough!

Wed 04 June, 2025 12:26
3 minutes to read

Captain Jack Sparrow reports on the recent dip in 401(k) and IRA balances, offering a unique perspective on navigating the treacherous waters of retirement savings. image

Savvy Savings or Fool's Gold? Captain Jack's Take on Retirement Woes!

Wed 04 June, 2025 12:54
2 minutes to read

Jefferies analysts handpicked their top stocks for the summer, Chuck Norris style, ensuring your portfolio can survive anything, even a roundhouse kick from the market. image

Chuck Norris Approved: These Stocks Don't Need Luck, They Have Me!

Wed 04 June, 2025 14:09
2 minutes to read

Cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike's stock takes a dive after disappointing revenue forecasts, proving even in the future, predicting the market is harder than understanding Zoidberg's dating life. image

Holy Motherboard! CrowdStrike Stock Does the Bender – Slumps Harder Than a Robot at a Limbo Contest!

Wed 04 June, 2025 14:15
3 minutes to read

A coordinated national effort to combat organized retail crime leads to hundreds of arrests, revealing a deeper systemic issue in the retail world. image

Wake Up, Shoppers: Retail Crime Crackdown Exposes Glitch in the Matrix

Wed 04 June, 2025 13:42
3 minutes to read