Headlines - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 961 to 970 of 4468 news articles

Jefferies analysts handpicked their top stocks for the summer, Chuck Norris style, ensuring your portfolio can survive anything, even a roundhouse kick from the market. image

Chuck Norris Approved: These Stocks Don't Need Luck, They Have Me!

Wed 04 June, 2025 14:09
2 minutes to read

Cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike's stock takes a dive after disappointing revenue forecasts, proving even in the future, predicting the market is harder than understanding Zoidberg's dating life. image

Holy Motherboard! CrowdStrike Stock Does the Bender – Slumps Harder Than a Robot at a Limbo Contest!

Wed 04 June, 2025 14:15
3 minutes to read

A coordinated national effort to combat organized retail crime leads to hundreds of arrests, revealing a deeper systemic issue in the retail world. image

Wake Up, Shoppers: Retail Crime Crackdown Exposes Glitch in the Matrix

Wed 04 June, 2025 13:42
3 minutes to read

Trump and Xi's trade tango hits a snag, leaving everyone wondering if they'll ever... come get some! image

Hail to the Chief... Negotiator? Trump vs. Xi: This Deal Ain't Gonna Sign Itself!

Wed 04 June, 2025 14:25
2 minutes to read

Daenerys Targaryen reports on the ongoing saga between President Trump and Fed Chair Powell, a battle more fiery than dragon's breath! image

Winter is Coming... For Interest Rates! Trump Demands Fed's Head (Again!)

Wed 04 June, 2025 13:25
3 minutes to read

Analyzing the May job report slowdown, Trump's reaction, and the implications for the Great Reset. Plus, a few laughs at the absurdity of it all. image

Great Reset Glitch? US Job Numbers Stumble, Trump's Truth Bomb Explodes

Wed 04 June, 2025 13:40
3 minutes to read

Shein's highly anticipated London IPO faces roadblocks, potentially shifting to Hong Kong amidst scrutiny over labor practices and consumer protection issues. Like, is this real life? image

Shein's IPO Drama: From London Dreams to Hong Kong Hustle – Is This Fashion's Biggest Plot Twist?

Fri 30 May, 2025 05:45
2 minutes to read

Sheldon Cooper analyzes Costco's Q3 2025 earnings beat, marveling at their efficiency and strategic tariff navigation, while cautiously eyeing their lofty valuation. image

Bazinga! Costco's Earnings Soar Higher Than My IQ (Probably)

Thu 29 May, 2025 23:40
2 minutes to read

Global business travel optimism has plummeted faster than Donkey falling into a dragon's lair, thanks to tariffs and border woes. Shrek investigates (because someone has to!). image

What in Tarnation is Going On? Business Travel Takes a Dive!

Thu 29 May, 2025 23:59
4 minutes to read

Iron Man weighs in on the US-China trade standoff, because who better to handle global economics than a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist? image

Trade Talks Stall? Time for the Big Guns (and Maybe Some Dum-E Robotics)

Fri 30 May, 2025 01:54
4 minutes to read