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Showing 821 to 830 of 927 news articles

Bender reports on Bernstein's downgrade of General Motors stock due to tariffs and consumer sentiment, predicting a bleak future for the automaker and throwing in some robot humor for good measure. Remember, I'm Bender, baby! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! GM Stock Gets the Bender Bending Over Treatment!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:21
2 minutes to read

Bernstein downgrades General Motors due to tariff pressures, predicting a stock slump. Looks like someone's dreams of owning 10000 hookers are going up in smoke! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! GM Stock Gets the Bender Bending Over!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:21
3 minutes to read

Professor Dumbledore reports on the recent drop in U.S. Treasury yields and global market anxiety following President Trump's imposition of widespread tariffs, a situation prompting a 'flight to safety' among investors. image

Trump's Tariffs Cause Market Mayhem! Is This the End of Economic Harmony?

Mon 07 April, 2025 09:30
4 minutes to read

Professor Dumbledore reports on how Trump's tariffs have sent U.S. Treasury yields plummeting and global markets into turmoil, stirring fears of a trade war reminiscent of goblin rebellions. image

Trump's Tariffs Plunge the Economy! Is This the End of Galleons?

Mon 07 April, 2025 09:30
3 minutes to read

Tesla's Future Decided! Will Musk Face MY WRATH!?

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:03
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon warns that Trump's new tariffs could inflate prices and slow down the already weakening U.S. economy, creating 'one large additional straw on the camel's back.' image

Jamie Dimon's Tariff Takedown! Is the Economy Doing the Drunken Master?!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:15
3 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon warns that Trump's new tariffs will likely raise prices and slow down the U.S. economy, creating 'uncertainties' and adding 'one large additional straw on the camel's back'. image

Jamie Dimon Just Said What About Trump's Tariffs?! It's Like a Bad Stunt!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:15
2 minutes to read

Tensions escalate between the U.S. and China as trade war intensifies, with tariffs flying and negotiations hitting a wall. Time to get your AK-47 ready! image

Say Hello to My Little Trade War! China and the US Go Ballistic!

Mon 07 April, 2025 08:10
2 minutes to read

As Trump's tariffs send markets into a tizzy, investors are hoarding yen, bonds, and even flirting with exotic assets like the Brazilian real. Is this the end of the world as we know it, or just another Tuesday? image

Safe Havens Ahoy! Are Yen, Bonds, and Gold the New Omicron Persei 8?

Mon 07 April, 2025 06:09
3 minutes to read

Once shunned, defense stocks are now gaining favor among fund managers due to geopolitical tensions and a changing perception of their role in national security, leading to increased investment and the emergence of defense-themed funds. image

Is War Profitable?! How Defense Stocks Went From Zero to Hero!

Mon 07 April, 2025 05:42
3 minutes to read