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Wall Street is freaking out over Zohran Mamdani's potential win for NYC Mayor, fearing tax hikes and tighter regulations. I, Zuck, weigh in with a dose of reality (and maybe a poke at the metaverse). image

NYC Mayor Mania: Wall Street's Zucked Over Socialist Surge!

Wed 25 June, 2025 21:30
3 minutes to read

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are now mandated to consider cryptocurrency as an asset in mortgage risk assessments, signaling a seismic shift in U.S. housing finance. image

FHFA's Crypto Gambit: Buckle Up, Buttercups, Housing Just Got Weirder

Wed 25 June, 2025 21:05
3 minutes to read

Micron's latest earnings report shows a surge fueled by AI demand, leaving analysts scrambling like Marines against a Hydralisk rush. Prepare for assimilation! image

Micron's Got Zerg-Like Growth: We're Swarming the Market!

Wed 25 June, 2025 22:04
2 minutes to read

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s revamped vaccine advisory panel raises eyebrows and sparks controversy, promising a fresh look at established immunization practices. image

RFK Jr. Shakes Up Vaccine Panel: Is This the End of the World As We Know It?

Wed 25 June, 2025 21:38
4 minutes to read

007's report on the after-hours trading frenzy, where fortunes rise and fall faster than a shaken martini. image

After-Hours High Stakes: My Take on Wall Street's Latest Gambles

Wed 25 June, 2025 21:04
2 minutes to read

Drone maker AeroVironment soars after smashing Q4 earnings expectations, fueled by strategic acquisitions and bullish market sentiment. But will this trajectory last, or will the winds of change blow it off course? image

AeroVironment Takes Flight: Is This the 'Palantir of Hardware'?

Wed 25 June, 2025 20:01
3 minutes to read

Dating app Bumble's stock surges after announcing workforce reduction and a strategic pivot, proving that even in the wilderness of the stock market, survival is possible. image

Bumble Bites Back From the Brink: Layoffs, Love and Leadership Changes

Wed 25 June, 2025 20:00
2 minutes to read

Southwest Airlines contemplates adding premium amenities like airport lounges and long-haul flights to woo wealthier passengers, potentially transforming its budget-friendly image. image

Valhalla on Wings? Southwest Eyes Lounges and Longships for High-Flying Vikings!

Wed 25 June, 2025 19:31
2 minutes to read

Senate Leader Chuck Schumer succumbs to dehydration, proving even politicians are vulnerable to the elements. A stark reminder: Stay hydrated, lest you face the wrath of… dizziness! image

Schumer's Weakness: The Ghost of Water Deficiency!

Wed 25 June, 2025 20:25
2 minutes to read

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man reports on the chaotic oil market following a brief price surge and subsequent drop after a ceasefire agreement. image

Web of Oil: Prices Swing Wildly After Iran-Israel Ceasefire!

Wed 25 June, 2025 18:50
3 minutes to read