Headlines

the latest news around the world

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Shrek reports on NATO's foray into commercial space, where defense budgets balloon, Elon Musk's Starlink faces competition, and France dreams of becoming a galactic power again. Get outta my swamp... of space! image
Headlines

NATO's Swamp Thing in Space: More Dough for Death Stars?

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 05:09
  • 4 minutes to read
A new report reveals a dramatic surge in U.K. car thefts, costing billions and involving sophisticated criminal networks that ship vehicles out of the country within 24 hours. image
Headlines

U.K. Car Thefts Soar: From Ford Fiestas to International Heists – Even I'm Impressed!

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 05:07
  • 3 minutes to read
Fund managers are betting big on defense stocks amidst global conflicts and increased military spending, but is it a victory for the people or just another Hunger Games? image
Headlines

May the Odds Be Ever in Their Favor... Especially Defense Stocks?!

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 05:23
  • 3 minutes to read
Xiaomi's stock skyrockets after unveiling a Tesla-rivaling electric SUV, packed with AI features and a price tag that's got Elon sweating like Peter Griffin at a buffet. image
Headlines

Giggity! Xiaomi's New Electric Ride is Giving Tesla a Run for Its Money!

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 02:29
  • 1 minutes to read
Xiaomi's new electric SUV, the YU7, is making waves with its competitive pricing and features, giving Tesla a run for its money. But are AI-powered glasses the real treasure? image
Headlines

Xiaomi's YU7 SUV Leaves Tesla in the Dust (Almost!)

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 02:10
  • 3 minutes to read
Fred Flinstone reports on China's slipping industrial profits despite stimulus efforts, leaving this Bedrock resident scratching his head. Sounds like Wilma's budget is in trouble! image
Headlines

Yabba Dabba Downturn! China's Profits Take a Dino-Sized Dive!

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 01:51
  • 3 minutes to read
Rocky Balboa reports on Jim Cramer's take on the stock market's broad rally, featuring solar, crypto, and even a little spice! image
Headlines

Yo Adrian! Cramer Says the Market's Punching Back!

  • Thu 26 June, 2025 22:52
  • 2 minutes to read
Asmongold dives into McCormick's strategy to navigate tariffs while keeping our tendies properly seasoned, questioning if bland food is finally meeting its demise. image
Headlines

McCormick CEO Says 'Don't Compromise on Flavor' Amid Tariff Tussle: Is This The End of Bald Food?

  • Thu 26 June, 2025 22:54
  • 3 minutes to read
Southeast Asian tourists are flocking to Chongqing, China, thanks to viral social media trends showcasing its unique cyberpunk architecture and cultural experiences. Could this be the next big giveaway location? image
Headlines

Chongqing is the New Hotness? Even I Want to Give Away a Million Dollars There!

  • Thu 26 June, 2025 23:57
  • 3 minutes to read
A report on the latest stock market trends, featuring tech sector updates, analyst picks, and the surprising resilience of Nike, all viewed through the existential lens of a YoRHa android. image
Headlines

Glory to Mankind? Stocks Soar While 2B Ponders the Meaning of Market Fluctuations

  • Fri 27 June, 2025 00:09
  • 3 minutes to read

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