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Geralt of Rivia reports on Jamie Dimon's grim forecast for the US economy, thanks to tariffs and a certain orange-haired leader's… unique approach to trade. image

Recession is Coming! Even the Bloody Bankers are Saying It!

Wed 09 April, 2025 12:55
2 minutes to read

Evercore ISI's analyst, like a seasoned gambler in the Shelby Company, is betting big on Affirm, predicting a significant rally despite market uncertainty. image

Affirm Shares to Rise Like the Peaky Blinders?! A Bold Bet!

Wed 09 April, 2025 10:21
3 minutes to read

The EU unveils its AI Action Plan to rival the U.S. and China, but is it a stylish upgrade or just more red tape in a designer dress? image

AI-Oh-No-They-Didn't! Is Europe's Tech Scene About to Get a Facelift?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 10:49
3 minutes to read

Novak Djokovic analyzes Citi's upgrade of Constellation Energy, finding humor and opportunities amidst market volatility. A look at potential upside and the energy company's resilience. image

Constellation Energy Stock Ready to Rise Like My Backhand!?

Wed 09 April, 2025 10:45
3 minutes to read

Global bond markets face turmoil as Trump's tariffs trigger investor panic, sending yields soaring and sparking a flight to safe-haven assets like German bunds. Is this the beginning of the end? image

OMG! Trump's Tariffs Are Messing With My Investments! Should I Sell Everything?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 12:21
3 minutes to read

Google Cloud is offering its Gemini AI models for deployment in private data centers, a move that could shake up the cloud market and give them an edge over competitors who prefer keeping their AI under tighter control. image

This is the Way Google Lets You Keep Your AI Close But Is It Beskar Strong?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 12:00
3 minutes to read

Kylie Jenner gives her totally unbiased take on how Trump's proposed tariffs are impacting the stock market, and more importantly, her empire. image

OMG! Trump's Tariffs Got Me Like...Is My Lip Kit Empire SAFE?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 12:04
2 minutes to read

A wild week in the mortgage world saw rates plummet, sparking a surge in demand, only to rebound quickly. Is this the end of the 'buying a house' era? image

Mortgage Rates Drop Then Skyrocket! Is My Dream Home Doomed?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 11:56
3 minutes to read

Britney decodes the mortgage market madness: rates drop, applications jump, but is it all just a 'Gimme More' mirage? image

Oops! I Bought a House... Did Mortgage Rates Just Do a Toxic Dance?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 11:56
2 minutes to read

Even Superman is concerned about the implications of Trump's tariffs on Ford, as analysts predict a rough road ahead for the automaker. Faster than a speeding bullet, this situation needs our attention. image

Ford Stock Plummets Faster Than a Speeding Bullet! Is Trump's Tariff Policy the Real Villain?

Wed 09 April, 2025 11:27
4 minutes to read