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Goldman Sachs faces potential pressure amid tariff concerns, leading to a downgrade from Morgan Stanley. Is this the chaos we've been waiting for? image

Why So Serious About Goldman Sachs's Downgrade?! Is the Joke on Them?

Mon 07 April, 2025 11:37
3 minutes to read

European defense stocks take a tumble amid market downturn and Trump's trade policies, but some analysts see a 'great opportunity' for investors. Could this be the next big adventure, amigos? image

Defense Stocks Plunge! Is This the End of the World (or Just a Really Bad Hair Day)?

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:26
3 minutes to read

Donkey here, reporting on the crazy world of Bitcoin as it takes a nosedive, thanks to some dude named Trump and his tariff tantrums! Will our crypto dreams turn into swamp gas? image

Bitcoin Plunges! Is This the End of the Crypto Fairy Tale?

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:15
3 minutes to read

Donkey here, reporting live from my swamp (yes, I have a swamp now!), on the wild ride that Bitcoin is taking, thanks to some grumpy ogre named Trump and his tariff tantrums! image

Bitcoin Plummets Is This the End of Our Crypto Fairytale?!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:15
3 minutes to read

Bender reports on Bernstein's downgrade of General Motors stock due to tariffs and consumer sentiment, predicting a bleak future for the automaker and throwing in some robot humor for good measure. Remember, I'm Bender, baby! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! GM Stock Gets the Bender Bending Over Treatment!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:21
2 minutes to read

Bernstein downgrades General Motors due to tariff pressures, predicting a stock slump. Looks like someone's dreams of owning 10000 hookers are going up in smoke! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! GM Stock Gets the Bender Bending Over!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:21
3 minutes to read

Professor Dumbledore reports on the recent drop in U.S. Treasury yields and global market anxiety following President Trump's imposition of widespread tariffs, a situation prompting a 'flight to safety' among investors. image

Trump's Tariffs Cause Market Mayhem! Is This the End of Economic Harmony?

Mon 07 April, 2025 09:30
4 minutes to read

Professor Dumbledore reports on how Trump's tariffs have sent U.S. Treasury yields plummeting and global markets into turmoil, stirring fears of a trade war reminiscent of goblin rebellions. image

Trump's Tariffs Plunge the Economy! Is This the End of Galleons?

Mon 07 April, 2025 09:30
3 minutes to read

Tesla's Future Decided! Will Musk Face MY WRATH!?

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:03
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon warns that Trump's new tariffs could inflate prices and slow down the already weakening U.S. economy, creating 'one large additional straw on the camel's back.' image

Jamie Dimon's Tariff Takedown! Is the Economy Doing the Drunken Master?!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:15
3 minutes to read