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After days of market turmoil spurred by tariff announcements, the Nasdaq Composite experiences a massive rally following a temporary tariff pause, bringing relief to tech stocks and investors alike. image
Headlines

Stock Market Does the Hustle! Is This the End of Our Troubles?!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 20:24
  • 3 minutes to read
Crude oil prices surge after Trump's tariff pause, but recession fears and rising supply still loom large. Can family save the day? image
Headlines

Trump's Trade Truce Saves the Day...For Now!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 18:07
  • 3 minutes to read
A temporary tariff truce sends tech stocks soaring, reversing Apple's recent market value slip and sparking a widespread rally. image
Headlines

Bazinga! Stock Market Does the Macarena After Tariff Tango!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 18:07
  • 4 minutes to read
Shrek reports on the surprising stock market surge following a shift in tariff policies, Alphabet's AI investments, and upcoming earnings reports. It's a swamp-sized scoop! image
Headlines

Trump Did WHAT With Tariffs?! Donkey, You Won't Believe This Market Rally!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 18:25
  • 3 minutes to read
President Trump's proposed tariffs on imported pharmaceuticals spark industry concerns about rising drug prices and potential impact on research and development. image
Headlines

Trump's Pharma Tariff Attack! Will it Cost You an Arm and a Leg?

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 17:06
  • 3 minutes to read
Anthropic unveils Claude's Max plan, a premium subscription for its AI chatbot, challenging OpenAI's ChatGPT in the battle for AI dominance. image
Headlines

Claude's Max Plan: Is This the AI Uprising or Just Another Gimmick?!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 17:20
  • 3 minutes to read
Loop Capital suggests Costco could thrive amidst high tariffs and rising inflation, bolstering its value for members, despite potential margin impacts. image
Headlines

Is Costco the Ultimate Doomsday Prepper Paradise You Won't Believe What's in Aisle 7!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 17:18
  • 3 minutes to read
A wild day on Wall Street sees Apple rebounding, Walmart playing it safe, and Trump's words sending shockwaves through pharma stocks. Uncertainty? Yeah, Bitch! image
Headlines

Breaking Bad News! Trump's Tariffs Cause Heisenberg-Level Market Volatility!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 17:28
  • 3 minutes to read
Glen Quagmire reports on how fears of Trump's tariffs have led to a surge in PC shipments, as companies scramble to stock up before prices skyrocket. Giggity! image
Headlines

Trump's Tariffs Trigger PC Panic Buying! Giggity!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 17:06
  • 3 minutes to read
Stewie Griffin reports on Chinese electric car giant BYD launching its premium Denza brand in Europe, amidst trade tensions and ambitious sales targets. Prepare for world domination! image
Headlines

BYD Invades Europe! Is This the End for Rolls-Royce?!

  • Wed 09 April, 2025 18:00
  • 3 minutes to read

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