Headlines

the latest news around the world

Showing 5031 to 5040 of 5471 news articles
A first-hand, slightly satirical, account of the recent helicopter crash in the Hudson River, offering my unique perspective and coping mechanisms. image
Headlines

Hold On Tight! Chopper Drama in the Hudson - Did They Try My Gluten-Free Diet?!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 20:25
  • 2 minutes to read
A rollercoaster week for tech stocks as tariff announcements trigger market volatility, leaving investors reeling and wondering if this is the start of a new arena. image
Headlines

Tech Stocks PLUMMET After Tariff Tussle! Is This the End?

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 17:18
  • 3 minutes to read
A report on the volatile tech market, where one day's massive gains are erased the next, leaving investors and beet farmers alike in a state of confusion and mild panic. image
Headlines

Technology Stocks Plummet More Than Bears Beat Beets! Is the Apocalypse Upon Us?

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 17:18
  • 3 minutes to read
Small software company Janover pivots to crypto, buying $4.6M in Solana (SOL) after a $42M raise, sending its stock soaring. Is this the next big crypto play or just another gamble? image
Headlines

Janover Goes Full Heisenberg! From Software to SOL Empire?!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 17:08
  • 2 minutes to read
Constellation Brands blames Trump's immigration stance and tariffs for declining beer sales among Hispanic consumers, impacting their bottom line. Giggity! image
Headlines

Trump's Policies Killing Beer Sales! Is This the End of Friday Night Parties?

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 16:44
  • 2 minutes to read
Economists predict that President Trump's tariff policies will lead to increased consumer prices by the summer, potentially impacting household budgets and even my access to the finer things in life. image
Headlines

Oh My God Tariffs are Going to Ruin My Bloody Marys! Higher Prices are Coming!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 17:32
  • 3 minutes to read
A new survey reveals that Americans across all income levels are feeling the financial squeeze, with inflation, high interest rates, and economic uncertainty creating widespread anxiety and hardship. image
Headlines

Screw You Guys Im Broke! The Vibecession is Real and Its Pissing Me Off!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 17:57
  • 3 minutes to read
Yautja warrior analyzes Earth's volatile stock market, finding both amusement and concern in its chaotic dance of gains and losses. image
Headlines

Market Roars Then Dies! Is This The End Times For Human Finance?!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 16:51
  • 3 minutes to read
Projected Social Security cost-of-living adjustment for 2026 is alarmingly low, but tariffs might stir things up. Could inflation be the only thing that saves us? image
Headlines

Social Security COLA 2026 The Xenomorph of Bad News is Here!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 18:27
  • 3 minutes to read
State Farm seeks a rate hike in California to recover from wildfire losses, but faces scrutiny and opposition as the state's insurance market teeters on the brink. image
Headlines

A Great Fire! Will State Farm Sink Like the Titanic in California?!

  • Thu 10 April, 2025 18:05
  • 3 minutes to read

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