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As trade wars loom and markets plunge, Jefferies suggests Netflix, McDonald's, and CME Group as safe havens. I, Sarah Kerrigan, Queen of Blades, offer my own sharp (and sarcastic) take. image

Netflix and Burgers to Survive the Apocalypse?! Top Stocks to Buy Now!

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:23
3 minutes to read

A hilarious, albeit terrifying, look at how Trump's proposed pharmaceutical tariffs could turn your medicine cabinet into a luxury penthouse. image

Trump's Drug Tariff Tango! Will Your Wallet Survive?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:40
3 minutes to read

Mattel and Hasbro stocks plummet as the US-China trade war intensifies, threatening to double toy prices during back-to-school season. image

Trump's Toy Tariffs! Are Your Childhood Dreams About to Explode?

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:58
3 minutes to read

After a week of rollercoaster rides and tariff tantrums, tech stocks are bouncing back like a trampoline full of donuts! image

Doh! Technology Stocks Bounce Back Like a Super Ball After a Nuclear Explosion!

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:53
2 minutes to read

After a turbulent week of tariff uncertainty, technology stocks are showing a remarkable recovery, with major players like Nvidia, Amazon, and others leading the charge. image

Tech Stocks Are BOUNCING Back! Are They Finally Worth a Damn?

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:53
2 minutes to read

Senate Democrats are askin' the SEC to check out Trump and his crew for possible insider tradin' after that whole tariff pause announcement. Fo shizzle! image

Did Trump Just Get Caught Slippin'?! Senate Dems Call for SEC Investigation!

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:13
2 minutes to read

Senate Democrats call for SEC investigation into Trump's tariff pause announcement, alleging potential securities violations. image

Did Trump Just Get Away With It Again!?

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:13
2 minutes to read

Wonder Woman investigates Jamie Dimon's grim forecast on corporate earnings amid trade tensions, and what it means for your Amazonian savings. image

Is Your Wallet About to Face a Doomsday?! Even Jamie Dimon is Worried!

Fri 11 April, 2025 14:45
3 minutes to read

Doctor Evil weighs in on Jamie Dimon's dire predictions of declining corporate earnings due to trade tensions, and plots his next move for world domination... using financial markets! image

Earnings Estimates to PLUMMET! Is Your Portfolio DOOMED!?

Fri 11 April, 2025 14:45
2 minutes to read

Amidst trade tariff turbulence and market volatility, a strategic options spread on the SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust (SPY) offers a potential path to profit, but tread carefully, Autobots! image

Market Meltdown or Magnificent Opportunity! One Trade to Rule Them All?

Fri 11 April, 2025 15:49
3 minutes to read