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the latest news around the world

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Lucid Group swoops in to acquire Nikola Corp's assets after its bankruptcy, offering jobs to former Nikola employees in Arizona. Is this a power-up or just cleaning up someone else's mess? image
Headlines

Lucid Just Pulled a Senzu Bean Move! Saved Nikola's Leftovers!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 15:23
  • 2 minutes to read
Peter Griffin reports on how Trump's trade war with China is impacting Hollywood, leaving studios like Disney and Warner Bros. in a financial pickle. Giggity! image
Headlines

Holy Crap Lois! Trump's Trade War is Messing With Our Movies!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 14:28
  • 2 minutes to read
Despite market turbulence, BlackRock's Q1 earnings reveal surprising resilience, a tech-fueled boost, and a dive into private markets. WAK! image
Headlines

BlackRock's WILD Ride! Are They Sinking or Swimming in Scrooge McDuck's Money Bin?!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 16:10
  • 2 minutes to read
Forrest Gump reports on the IRS layoffs, wondering if it's like shrimp – you can barbeque it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it... but what happens when there's less of it? image
Headlines

IRS Layoffs?! Mama Always Said Life is Like a Box of Chocolates!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 14:58
  • 3 minutes to read
Forrest Gump reports on potential IRS layoffs, their impact on tax season, and what it all means for folks just trying to file their taxes. image
Headlines

IRS Layoffs Are Like a Box of Chocolates You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 14:58
  • 3 minutes to read
Zuck breaks down Wells Fargo's Q1 stumble, complete with tech billionaire humor and the burning question: Are they even on the Metaverse? image
Headlines

Wells Fargo Stock Plummets! Did They Forget to Friend Me on Facebook?!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 15:20
  • 3 minutes to read
Jefferies suggests Netflix, McDonald's, and CME Group as safe havens for investors amidst global trade uncertainties and market volatility. Buckle up, buttercup, it's gonna be a wild ride! image
Headlines

Are These Recession-Proof Stocks Your Ticket to Financial Salvation!?

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 15:23
  • 3 minutes to read
As trade wars loom and markets plunge, Jefferies suggests Netflix, McDonald's, and CME Group as safe havens. I, Sarah Kerrigan, Queen of Blades, offer my own sharp (and sarcastic) take. image
Headlines

Netflix and Burgers to Survive the Apocalypse?! Top Stocks to Buy Now!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 15:23
  • 3 minutes to read
A hilarious, albeit terrifying, look at how Trump's proposed pharmaceutical tariffs could turn your medicine cabinet into a luxury penthouse. image
Headlines

Trump's Drug Tariff Tango! Will Your Wallet Survive?!

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 15:40
  • 3 minutes to read
Mattel and Hasbro stocks plummet as the US-China trade war intensifies, threatening to double toy prices during back-to-school season. image
Headlines

Trump's Toy Tariffs! Are Your Childhood Dreams About to Explode?

  • Fri 11 April, 2025 15:58
  • 3 minutes to read

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