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Luigi Mangione's lawyer fights the death penalty in Brian Thompson's murder case, claiming political interference and due process violations. image

Death Penalty Drama Unfolds! Is Justice Blind or Just Political?

Fri 11 April, 2025 20:23
3 minutes to read

Tommy Shelby dissects the stock market's recent volatility, warning of further turbulence and uncertain earnings guidance amidst trade war anxieties. image

Bloody Uncertainty! Will the Stock Market Survive Another Week of Chaos?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 20:07
3 minutes to read

The Department of Justice is in hot water after missing a court deadline to report on efforts to bring back a wrongly deported man from El Salvador. Sounds like someone's empire is under threat! image

DOJ Dodges Deadline Drama! Is Someone Cooking the Books?

Fri 11 April, 2025 17:18
2 minutes to read

Gold prices are soaring amidst economic uncertainty, but experts are divided on whether it's a golden opportunity or a fool's errand. Let's dive in, shall we? image

Giggity! Is Gold About to Get Lucky or Are You Too Late to the Party!?

Fri 11 April, 2025 16:12
3 minutes to read

Navigating market volatility caused by tariff announcements requires a cool head, a long-term plan, and perhaps a martini (shaken, not stirred). image

Trump's Tariff Tantrum Sent Markets Tumbling! Should You Hide Under the Covers or Pounce Like a Cheetah?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 16:31
4 minutes to read

Despite economic fears and tariff uncertainties, technology stocks, including Nvidia, Amazon, Apple and others, experience a significant rebound, marking one of the wildest trading weeks in recent history. image

Screw You Guys, Im Rich! Tech Stocks Soar Like My Awesomeness!

Fri 11 April, 2025 18:05
2 minutes to read

The human markets are in turmoil! Trade wars, inflation fears, and mixed earnings reports create volatile trading conditions for Jim Cramer's Investing Club. image

Bloodbath on Wall Street! Cramer's Club in Chaos! What's Next!?

Fri 11 April, 2025 16:39
2 minutes to read

Ellen Ripley reports on the volatile stock market, economic uncertainty, and gold rushes – sounds like my average Tuesday fighting aliens. image

Turbulence Ahead Are We All Gonna Die!?

Fri 11 April, 2025 16:52
2 minutes to read

Gandalf the Grey reports on Bank of America's warning to investors: brace yourselves, a storm is coming! Sell now, lest ye be caught in the economic Shadow. image

Sell the Rips! Is the Market About to Plunge into the Depths of Mordor?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 17:24
3 minutes to read

President Trump secures over $600 million in pro bono legal work from five law firms, focusing on veteran support, anti-Semitism efforts, and justice system fairness, while also emphasizing merit-based hiring and political neutrality. image

Trump Uses Triforce of Power to Get Law Firms to Do His Bidding! Is This the End of Hyrule?

Fri 11 April, 2025 17:20
3 minutes to read