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The FTC is suing Uber for allegedly deceptive subscription practices, including misleading advertising and difficult cancellation processes. Could this be the end of free refills? image

Good News Everyone Uber in Hot Water With the FTC!

Mon 21 April, 2025 18:03
2 minutes to read

President Trump meets with retail giants like Walmart and Target to discuss the impact of his tariffs, potentially warping the economic fabric of reality itself! image

Is Trump About to Bend Space-Time with Retail Tariffs?! A Most Curious Encounter!

Mon 21 April, 2025 17:48
3 minutes to read

Analysts predict further decline for Apple stock due to tariffs, trade wars, and AI lag, suggesting tough times ahead for the tech giant. image

Apple Stock Apocalypse! Is This the End of the Fruit Company as We Know It?!

Mon 21 April, 2025 15:46
3 minutes to read

A recap of Monday's market mayhem, as seen through the eyes of a seasoned (and licensed to kill) investor. image

Dow Plunges! Is Trump's Fed Feud Dooming Your Portfolio?

Mon 21 April, 2025 16:09
2 minutes to read

Cathie Wood is still bullish on Tesla, predicting a $2,600 price target by 2029, while others are a bit more...realistic. Mmm, realistic. image

Tesla to the Moon or Just Another Doh-Nut!?

Mon 21 April, 2025 15:17
2 minutes to read

Kristi Noem, the Homeland Security Secretary, had her purse snatched in D.C. containing cash, passport and other personal belongings. image

WHERE'S THE LAMB Sauce...AND MY PURSE! Homeland Security Secretary Robbed!

Mon 21 April, 2025 16:03
2 minutes to read

Snoop Dogg breaks down how companies are using Foreign Trade Zones and bonded warehouses to dodge Trump's tariffs, saving that paper, ya dig?! image

Fo Shizzle My Dizzle! Are FTZs the Secret Weapon Against Crazy Tariffs?!

Mon 21 April, 2025 16:10
3 minutes to read

Rambo reports on how leveraged ETFs are attracting investors, but warns of potential risks as the market reacts to Trump's tariff policies, creating a volatile landscape reminiscent of a war zone. image

Bro Bubble About to Burst! Is Your Portfolio Ready for War?

Mon 21 April, 2025 16:03
2 minutes to read

Sources whisper of a potential massive funding round for xAI, valuing Musk's AI venture at a figure that would make even Ares blush. image

Elon Musk Values xAI at What?! Even My Invisible Jet Didn't See That Coming!

Mon 21 April, 2025 16:25
3 minutes to read

Raymond James analysts predict near-term earnings pressure for Amazon due to tariffs, macro uncertainties, and investment intensity. Ragnar Lothbrok weighs in on this modern-day raid gone sour. image

Amazon's Treasure Chest Emptying! Gods of Wall Street Downgrade the Giant!

Mon 21 April, 2025 11:10
3 minutes to read