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Austin Powers reports on Deutsche Bank's sudden change of heart on the stock market, blaming those dastardly tariffs and potential approval rating dips. Oh, behave! image

Groovy Gloom: Deutsche Bank Dumps Disco Optimism on Wall Street!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:20
2 minutes to read

Even the bulls are feeling the pinch as trade tensions and tariff tantrums threaten to Austin Powers' chances of living lavishly! image

Groovy Baby! Wall Street's Mojo Slippin' as Stock Market Gets a Tariff Tangle!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:20
2 minutes to read

Cleveland Fed President Beth Hammack advises patience on interest rates amid tariff uncertainty, leaving Wall Street sweating more than Uncle Phil after a game of racquetball. image

Yo, Check It! The Fed's Playing It Cool Like Jazz While Trump's Tariffs Throw Shade!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:52
2 minutes to read

The former president voices disapproval of Russian strikes following his claims of a potential peace deal, leaving this gato in boots thoroughly perplexed. image

Holy Frijoles! Trump Tells Putin 'STOP!' After Kyiv Attacks

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:53
3 minutes to read

Donkey reports on the sluggish spring housing market, where high mortgage rates and economic jitters are making it harder to find your own 'happily ever after' home. image

Housing Market Shrek-ed! Is Your Dream Home Now a Swamp?

Thu 24 April, 2025 14:00
2 minutes to read

Superman Explains why staying calm during market dips is better than trying to time the chaos, with wisdom from the Fortress of Solitude! image

S and P Rollercoaster Ride Did You Panic Sell?!

Thu 24 April, 2025 11:04
5 minutes to read

MJ breaks down Bank of America's concerns about Apple's future, supply chain woes, AI delays, and the impact of tariffs on the tech giant. It's gonna be a SLAM DUNK or a major AIR BALL? image

Apple Stock Plummeting Like My Fadeaway Jumper! Will They Recover?!

Thu 24 April, 2025 11:25
2 minutes to read

South Korea's data protection authority finds DeepSeek AI guilty of collecting and transferring user data overseas without permission, raising national security concerns. image

DeepSeek Double Crossed Korea! Did AI Just Steal Family Secrets?

Thu 24 April, 2025 10:56
2 minutes to read

Merck adjusts its 2025 profit forecast downwards due to tariffs and a one-time charge, while still reporting strong first-quarter earnings driven by oncology and animal health products. image

Bazinga Merck's Profits Take a Tumble! Is the Universe Expanding Faster Than Their Bottom Line?

Thu 24 April, 2025 10:32
3 minutes to read

Comcast's first quarter shows they're making more money than I have layers, but they're losing broadband customers like I lose my patience with Donkey. Mobile's lookin' good, though! image

What in Tarnation is Happening to Comcast?! They're Losing Broadband Faster Than I Lose My Temper!

Thu 24 April, 2025 11:44
2 minutes to read