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Luffy here, reporting on who's up, who's down, and who's got the meat! (Spoiler: Tesla might have the most meat this time!) image

SHISHISHI! T-Mobile's Lost Treasure and Tesla's Gum-Gum Rocket Ride! A Luffy News Report!

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:50
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes MercadoLibre CEO's prediction that Latin America could benefit from the U.S.-China trade war, with a dash of doomsday scenarios and senile commentary. image

Good News Everyone! Trade War Profits Predicted by Argentinian Mogul!

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:36
2 minutes to read

MercadoLibre CEO Marcos Galperin thinks Latin America could benefit from the U.S.-China trade war, while I, Professor Farnsworth, mostly just worry about running out of Slurm. image

Good News Everyone! Latin America Poised to Profit From Trade Wars, Says Some Guy Who's Not Me (Sadly)

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:36
2 minutes to read

The Communication Services Select SPDR Fund (XLC), heavily influenced by Meta, Netflix, and Alphabet, navigates a crucial juncture that will likely determine the direction of the broader market. Is it a breakout or a breakdown? Only time (and a bit of quantum entanglement) will tell! image

XLC's Quantum Quandary: A Market's Fate Hanging by a Thread!

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:16
4 minutes to read

A look at the Communication Services Select SPDR Fund (XLC) and its crucial role in the broader market's fate, as it navigates a precarious technical juncture heavily influenced by tech giants like Meta, Netflix, and Alphabet. image

E=MC Hammer Time for XLC? Can Communication Stocks Avoid a Market Meltdown?

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:16
4 minutes to read

Some dude named Luigi pleads 'not guilty' for offing a health insurance bigwig. Apparently, he REALLY didn't like healthcare. Who does, am I right? image

Health CEO Gets a Bang-Up Sendoff! (Oops, Did I Say That Out Loud?)

Fri 25 April, 2025 18:24
3 minutes to read

Some dude named Luigi says 'NOT GUILTY' to offing a health insurance bigwig. Now the feds are all fired up for a capital punishment showdown! Talk about a grand finale! image

WHOA! Health CEO Gets BOOM-BOOM'D! (And They Wanna Fry the Guy!)

Fri 25 April, 2025 18:24
2 minutes to read

California proposes new rules for testing and deploying self-driving vehicles, from robotaxis to driverless trucks, aiming for safety and innovation. image

Kamehame-CAR! California Gets Serious About Self-Driving Vehicles!

Fri 25 April, 2025 18:05
3 minutes to read

California's DMV is proposing new rules for self-driving cars and trucks, making sure they don't pull a 'Road House' on our streets. Get ready for robotaxis and driverless trucks, but hopefully not a 'Freakin' Sweet' accident! image

Giggity Giggity! California's Gone Wild with Self-Driving Car Rules!

Fri 25 April, 2025 18:05
2 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on how tariffs are quacking up consumer spending, with folks either rushing to buy cars or holding onto their clams like Scrooge McDuck. image

Aw, Phooey! Tariff Troubles Got Me Counting My Feathers!

Fri 25 April, 2025 16:47
2 minutes to read