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the latest news around the world

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Reports of a data center bust were greatly exaggerated, according to beet-farming assistant regional manager Dwight Schrute. Turns out, it's just a strategic pause… like when I wait to unleash my beet-fueled fury on a competitor. image
Headlines

Data Center Apocalypse Postponed: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica... and AI!

  • Sun 27 April, 2025 14:14
  • 3 minutes to read
Big corporations are ditching LGBTQ+ Pride sponsorships faster than Kyle ditches a fart, leaving Pride organizers scrambling for cash and wondering if anyone even cares anymore. Respect my authoritah! image
Headlines

Screw You Guys, I'm Cutting Off Pride (Maybe): Corporations Get Woke-ish Then Go Broke-ish!

  • Sun 27 April, 2025 12:00
  • 2 minutes to read
White House Correspondents' Dinner scales back festivities amid press battles with the Trump administration, focusing on journalistic integrity and freedom. image
Headlines

No Laughing Matter: Human Journalists Hold Somber Feast, Trump Still Avoids the Hunt

  • Sun 27 April, 2025 10:30
  • 2 minutes to read
Captain Marvel reports on the ongoing nuclear negotiations between Iran and the United States, where caution and determination dance a delicate diplomatic jig. image
Headlines

Higher, Further, Faster... to a Deal? Iran and the US Nuclear Tango Continues!

  • Sun 27 April, 2025 07:56
  • 3 minutes to read
Car accident at Vancouver Filipino street festival leaves many hurt and some… gone. Hulk feels bad, but also… Hulk SMASH cars! image
Headlines

HULK SMASH! Car Go Boom at Festival, Makes Hulk Angrier!

  • Sun 27 April, 2025 07:42
  • 2 minutes to read
A massive explosion at an Iranian port, possibly linked to missile fuel, leaves casualties and raises questions of sabotage versus sheer dumb luck. image
Headlines

Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Iranian Port Goes Kaboom - Missile Fuel Mishap or Interdimensional Hijinks?

  • Sat 26 April, 2025 20:28
  • 3 minutes to read
Cristiano Ronaldo, the football icon, reports on Bert Mueller's incredible journey from a student in India to the founder of a 100+ location Mexican-inspired restaurant chain, California Burrito. image
Headlines

Siiii! From Football to Foodie Empire: How One Man Scored Big with Burritos in India

  • Sat 26 April, 2025 13:55
  • 4 minutes to read
Inspired by Tina Knowles' playbook: A dive into how family therapy and dedicated time can create unbreakable bonds, even for superstars. image
Headlines

From Goals to Guidance: Even Beyoncé Needs a Good Assist!

  • Sat 26 April, 2025 16:00
  • 3 minutes to read
The new Boss is changing the game! Student loan forgiveness programs are becoming harder to find than the One Piece itself, leaving borrowers in a pickle! image
Headlines

Shishishi! Trump's Treasure Hunt: Student Loan Forgiveness Fading Like a Mirage!

  • Sat 26 April, 2025 14:00
  • 2 minutes to read
Professor Farnsworth reports on the shrinking universe of student loan forgiveness under the Trump administration, with a side of doomsday devices and dwindling hope. image
Headlines

Good News Everyone! Trump's Debt Star is Aimed at Your Wallet!

  • Sat 26 April, 2025 14:00
  • 4 minutes to read

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