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Shares of British food delivery firm Deliveroo jump to their highest level after a $3.6 billion takeover offer from DoorDash, with a potential recommendation to shareholders on the horizon. image
Headlines

Siii! Deliveroo's Shares Soar After DoorDash Swoops In: Is This the End of 'Floperoo'?

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 11:21
  • 2 minutes to read
Lionel Messi weighs in on Putin's proposed ceasefire in Ukraine, finding the humor and skepticism in the Kremlin's latest move. image
Headlines

Putin's Ceasefire? More Like a Free Kick...Straight into the Wall!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 12:06
  • 2 minutes to read
Looks like some smarty-pants at Bank of America flipped their flag on Progressive faster than Usopp can run from a fight! They said 'buy,' then 'nah,' and now 'BUY BUY BUY!' Shishishi! image
Headlines

SHISHISHI! Bank of America Changed Their Mind Faster Than I Can Eat Meat!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 11:56
  • 2 minutes to read
Professor Farnsworth dissects Bank of America's sudden change of heart on Progressive insurance stock, finding humor and potential profits in the financial flippity-flop. image
Headlines

Good News Everyone! Bank of America Does a U-Turn on Progressive Stock!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 11:56
  • 3 minutes to read
Meta's ambitious AI strategy, fueled by Llama and Meta AI, faces investor scrutiny amid Trump's tariffs and the race to monetize AI innovation. image
Headlines

E=Meta C Squared? Zuckerberg's AI Gamble Under Scrutiny!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 12:06
  • 4 minutes to read
E-commerce giants like PayPal, Block, and Affirm are sweating bullets over potential tariff implications and their impact on consumer spending. Time to watch the world burn... or maybe just your wallet! image
Headlines

CHAOS COMING? Tariffs Threaten Your Loot, Says Jinx!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 12:00
  • 3 minutes to read
Treasury Secretary says it's up to China to make a trade deal with the U.S., but will they step up like a Super Saiyan? image
Headlines

China's Trade Tantrum! Can They Power Up a Deal?

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 12:17
  • 2 minutes to read
Peter Griffin reports on how Trump's tariffs are making American farmers sing the blues, with cancelled orders, layoffs, and enough pork to make Brian blush. image
Headlines

Giggity Giggity: Trump's Trade War Turning U.S. Farmers into Chicken Fighters!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 11:29
  • 3 minutes to read
Mama always said credit scores were like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. But now, figuring out your credit score is easier than escaping a flock of angry birds! image
Headlines

Run, Forrest, Run... To a Better Credit Score!

  • Fri 25 April, 2025 19:59
  • 3 minutes to read
Mark Zuckerberg dives into the latest South China Sea dispute, where claims of reef seizures and espionage are as tangled as my Metaverse avatar's legs. image
Headlines

South China Sea Shenanigans: Did China Just Unfriend the Philippines?

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 08:37
  • 3 minutes to read

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