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the latest news around the world

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Starbucks' once-dominant reign in China crumbles under economic pressures, fierce competition, and rising anti-American sentiment, leaving its future in the region uncertain. image
Headlines

Boycott! Starbucks Faces Ragnarok in China as Local Brews Rise

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 17:26
  • 3 minutes to read
Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man breaks down why UBS thinks Berkshire Hathaway is a solid investment, even with potential tariff troubles. Spoiler alert: Geico might just save the day! image
Headlines

Holy Berkshire, Batman! UBS Says Buffett's Stock is a Safe Haven!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 17:28
  • 3 minutes to read
Bobby Axelrod dissects today's market movers, from Plug Power's debt play to Nvidia's AI face-off with Huawei, and throws in some classic Axe-isms for good measure. image
Headlines

Axe's Midday Market Massacre: Fuel Cells, EVs, and Chip Wars!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 16:39
  • 3 minutes to read
Spotify brags about paying podcasters over $100 million, but even with Joe Rogan, they're LOSING to YouTube and Patreon. Sad! image
Headlines

Spotify's Fake News Payouts: A Total Disaster (Even Though They Paid Rogan!)

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 17:25
  • 3 minutes to read
The Washington Commanders are relocating back to the RFK Stadium site in D.C., promising a $3.7 billion project that could either save humanity or just provide better parking. image
Headlines

Commanders Return to RFK: Is This Earth's Defense Against the Covenant?

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 18:21
  • 3 minutes to read
While tech titans tumble, Palantir dances with the devil (and Uncle Sam), making a killing off chaos and government contracts. Is it genius or just... good business? image
Headlines

Palantir's Laughing All the Way to the Bank: A Joke in a Recession?

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 17:58
  • 3 minutes to read
The Trump administration drops a lawsuit against National Collegiate Student Loan Trusts, leaving harmed borrowers in the lurch, a move that smells like Two-Face's brand of justice. image
Headlines

Trump Admin Bails on Student Loan Victims: Gotham's Fiscal Injustice Echoes

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 18:24
  • 2 minutes to read
Since the return of President Trump, the stock market has seen dramatic shifts, with some stocks plummeting while others defy gravity. I find their lack of faith disturbing. image
Headlines

The Emperor's New Clothes: Trump's Market Swings and the Rebellion of Stocks

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 17:32
  • 2 minutes to read
Google's CEO gets a ??????? upgrade, and Barbie's got the scoop – with a sprinkle of glitter and a dash of sarcasm! image
Headlines

Sundar Pichai's Security Costs More Than My Dreamhouse: A Barbie Breakdown

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 18:22
  • 3 minutes to read
Geralt of Rivia, monster hunter and occasional market analyst, dissects why Charter Communications (CHTR) might be a worthwhile gamble, even when the market feels like a griffin's nest. image
Headlines

Toss a Coin to Your Broker? Charter Communications Stock Shows Promising Signs!

  • Mon 28 April, 2025 18:09
  • 2 minutes to read

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