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Dwight Schrute reports on Meta's surprising Q1 success, future investments, and a looming threat from the European Commission – all with a beet-fueled perspective. image

False! Meta's Triumphant Quarter Proves Facebook is NOT Dead: A Schrute Farms Analysis

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:24
3 minutes to read

Zuckerberg's VR dreams continue to hemorrhage money, leaving analysts and shareholders wondering if this is the empire business. image

Meta's Metaverse Meltdown: Billions Vanish Faster Than My Blue Sky

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:10
2 minutes to read

Microsoft's quarterly earnings blow past expectations thanks to a booming Azure cloud business, leaving investors feeling giggity-good! image

Giggity! Microsoft's Azure Cloud Sends Stock Soaring Higher Than My Chances on Spring Break!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:24
3 minutes to read

Microsoft's quarterly report proves they're not a bunch of smelly hippies, raking in more dough than I can shake a stick at, especially with that Azure cloud crap. image

Screw You Guys, Microsoft's Making Bank! (And I Want In!)

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:24
2 minutes to read

A Zerg Queen's analysis of Etsy's recent market struggles, Trump's tariffs, and the ever-present threat of Amazon, Temu and Shein. image

Etsy's Economy Plunges Into The Swarm: Kerrigan's Take on Tumbling Stocks

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:46
2 minutes to read

Agent J reports on Snap's stock plummet, economic woes, and potential alien interference in the social media landscape. Is it time to neuralyze Wall Street? image

Snap Crackle Pops... Then Drops: Agent J Investigates the Social Media Apocalypse

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:59
3 minutes to read

Satya Nadella reveals the simple yet potent advice from Steve Ballmer that fueled Microsoft's meteoric rise: 'Be bold and be right.' A lesson in leadership, judgment, and a license to kill (the competition, naturally). image

From Ballmer to Billions: The Bold Advice That Made Microsoft Unkillable

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:16
3 minutes to read

A look into the invaluable advice Satya Nadella received from Steve Ballmer: 'Be Bold and Be Right,' and how it propelled Microsoft's success. image

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ballmer's Bold Advice That Rocketed Microsoft to New Heights

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:16
3 minutes to read

Jim Cramer defends Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol amidst a disappointing quarter, seeing it as a buying opportunity and trusting Niccol's turnaround expertise. image

Doh! Starbucks Stock Down? Cramer Says 'Eat My Shorts,' Niccol's Got This!

Wed 30 April, 2025 18:16
3 minutes to read

Gordon Ramsay dissects the US's first-quarter GDP report, finding a recipe for disaster with stagflation, tariffs, and a potential recession. image

Bloody Hell! Is America's Economy Going Down the Drain?

Wed 30 April, 2025 16:25
2 minutes to read