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Chinese online retailers slash Facebook and Instagram ad spending amidst Trump's trade policy, impacting Meta's revenue projections and Reality Labs. image

Trump's Trade Gambit Shakes Meta: Bond's Eye on the Digital Dragon

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:51
2 minutes to read

Drug companies are making major investments in US manufacturing to get on Trump's good side amidst tariff threats, while Abbott integrates CGM data with Epic's EHR for better patient care. image

Trump's Tariff Tango: Big Pharma Does the Cha-Ching!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:12
3 minutes to read

Epic Systems CRUSHES Oracle in the EHR Market, Proving Once Again That America Knows How to WIN! image

Epic WINS BIG, Oracle FAILS! Another HUGE Victory for American Greatness!

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:24
2 minutes to read

Energy stocks are tanking, hinting at a potential economic slowdown worse than a Covenant invasion. image

Energy Sector Plummets: Is the Economy Saying "Wake Me When You Need Me"?

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:09
2 minutes to read

Energy stocks tank, oil prices plummet, and I, your humble clown, am here to tell you why it's all a part of the beautiful chaos! image

Why So Serious About Oil Prices? A Clown's Take on Economic Doom!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

Qualcomm beats earnings expectations but a slight revenue forecast dip sends mixed signals. Is diversification the Bat-Signal for survival? image

Qualcomm's Gamble: Gotham-Sized Profits or Joker's Last Laugh?

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:30
2 minutes to read

Despite exceeding Wall Street expectations in fiscal Q2, Qualcomm faces a slight revenue forecast dip, sparking concerns over the company's future. I find their lack of faith disturbing. image

Qualcomm's Force Awakens: Chip Sales Surge Despite Revenue Wobble!

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:30
3 minutes to read

Barbie breaks down Amazon's $4 billion plan to triple its rural delivery network, promising faster shipping and more jobs, all while navigating tariff drama! image

Amazon's 'Dream Delivery' Expansion: Is Faster Shipping the New Pink Convertible?

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:17
2 minutes to read

Amazon plans to spend $4 billion by 2026 to expand rural deliveries, aiming to cut delivery times in half and create jobs. Geralt of Rivia smells a rat...or maybe just late packages. image

Amazon Promises Faster Deliveries to Rural Hovel Dwellers - Geralt of Rivia Investigates

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:17
2 minutes to read

Meta reports unexpectedly high first-quarter revenue, leaving this tycoon feeling, well, not completely displeased. A deeper dive reveals some potential headwinds, but nothing a good ol' fashioned hostile takeover can't fix. image

Excellent! Meta's Profits Surge, Just As I Predicted (Probably)

Wed 30 April, 2025 22:16
3 minutes to read