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Reddit's first-quarter earnings defied expectations, fueled by user growth and strategic site improvements, propelling the social media giant to new heights. image

Reddit Soars Higher, Further, Faster! Earnings Beat Sends Stock Sky High

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Reddit reports stellar first-quarter earnings, leaving Wall Street in the dust and proving that even online communities can achieve cosmic success. image

Reddit's Rocket Ride: Soaring Past Expectations Like a Photon Blast!

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:10
2 minutes to read

Amazon's Q1 ad revenue surges past expectations, but economic uncertainties and trade tensions loom like Red Skull's schemes. image

Amazon's Ad Revenue: A Win For The Home Team Or Just Another Ultron In Disguise?

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:25
4 minutes to read

Amazon make much money from cloud and advertising, but future forecast not so good. Stock price go down like my neighbor's goat! image

Jak sie masz Amazon? Very Nice! But Stock Price Do a Sad Face!

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:26
2 minutes to read

Rick Sanchez dissects Amazon's surprisingly okay earnings report, soft guidance, and the general existential dread of late-stage capitalism. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! image

Amazon's Q1: More Like Amazon't, Am I Right?

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:26
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the scandalous dismissal of Kohl's CEO, Ashley Buchanan, for engaging in a 'highly unusual' relationship with a vendor, and the company's subsequent rebound. image

Good News Everyone! Kohl's CEO Fired for Romantic Entanglements!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:24
3 minutes to read

Meta Platforms defies macroeconomic gloom with stellar earnings, fueled by resilient advertising and strategic AI investments, proving once again that imagination is more important than knowledge. image

Meta's Quantum Leap: More Than Just 'Relatively Healthy' Adv Demand!

Thu 01 May, 2025 18:04
3 minutes to read

Eli Lilly shrugs off CVS partnership drama with Novo Nordisk, touting innovation and oral meds while stock dips. 'Rules are meant to be broken,' right? image

Lilly's Pill-Popping Party Doesn't Stop for CVS's Silly Shenanigans!

Thu 01 May, 2025 18:04
2 minutes to read

Goku reports on Johnson & Johnson joining Goldman Sachs' top stock picks, while others get 'deleted' like a defeated villain! Prepare for an economic Spirit Bomb! image

Kamehame-HA! Johnson & Johnson Powers Up Goldman Sachs' Conviction List!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:32
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on Goldman Sachs adding Johnson & Johnson to its 'Conviction List,' while I'm just trying to figure out what that even means. image

Holy Crap Lois! Goldman Sachs is Pushing Pills! Johnson & Johnson Stock Gets the Thumbs Up!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:32
3 minutes to read