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the latest news around the world

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A deep dive into the anxieties plaguing the younger generation, from social media obsessions to packed schedules, and how parents can help 'em out. Giggity. image
Headlines

Giggity! Kids These Days Got More Worries Than I Have Pick-Up Lines!

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 13:52
  • 3 minutes to read
Stewie Griffin exposes the hidden anxieties plaguing today's youth and offers (mostly) sarcastic advice on how to cope, based on a recent news article. image
Headlines

Good Grief! Turns Out Your Spawn Are Secretly Spiraling (And You're Probably Oblivious)

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 13:52
  • 3 minutes to read
Some stupid study says you can avoid being a dumbass old person by not being a fatass and having friends. Whatever. image
Headlines

Screw You Guys, I'm Not Getting Dementia! (Unless It Means I Forget Butters)

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:00
  • 3 minutes to read
A recent study reveals how to avoid dementia, stroke, and depression, offering a blueprint for a stronger, longer hunt... or life, as you humans call it. image
Headlines

If It Bleeds, It Can Be Healthy: Predator's Guide to Avoiding Human Weakness

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:00
  • 2 minutes to read
The White House shared an AI-generated image of Trump as the Pope, sparking controversy and raising questions about seriousness in politics. Sounds like the usual to me. image
Headlines

Another Day, Another Nightmare: Trump's AI Pope Fantasy—Can't We Just Nuke the Site From Orbit?

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
  • 3 minutes to read
AI-generated image of Trump as the Pope surfaces, reminding everyone that politics is scarier than any Xenomorph. image
Headlines

Another Day, Another Nightmare: Trump as Pope? I've Seen Worse, Trust Me

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
  • 3 minutes to read
Berkshire Hathaway's Q1 earnings stumble amidst tariff uncertainty, but the old wizard still holds a mighty hoard and a glimmer of hope. image
Headlines

A Shadow Falls on Berkshire Hathaway: Buffett's Earnings Face the Tariff Dragon!

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
  • 4 minutes to read
A look at Berkshire Hathaway's Q1 earnings reveals a drop in operating earnings, a cash hoard fit for a dragon, and uncertainty over tariffs that even the Oracle of Omaha can't predict! image
Headlines

Berkshire Hathaway's Q1 Results: Even Buffett Can't Dodge a Wildfire (and Tariffs!)

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
  • 3 minutes to read
Mario dives into Warren Buffett's warnings about trade wars, tariffs, and a whole lotta economic 'uh oh!' image
Headlines

It's-a Me, Mario, Reporting on Buffett's 'Mama Mia' Trade Troubles!

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:08
  • 2 minutes to read
Warren Buffett slams Trump's trade policies, hinting at potential economic 'acts of war'. Is the Oracle of Omaha seeing shadows where others see sunshine? image
Headlines

Buffett's Bold Bluff: Billionaire Blasts Trade Wars!

  • Sat 03 May, 2025 14:08
  • 2 minutes to read

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