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Goku reports on President Trump's comments about American consumers potentially having fewer toys due to tariffs, sparking debate about economic impact and the disconnect between the wealthy and everyday families. Time for a Senzu Bean of perspective! image

Trump Says Less Dolls? I Say More Training! Goku's Take on Toy Tariffs!

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:51
2 minutes to read

Tesla's losing its spark as Elon Musk's antics drive away fans and investors faster than Brian chasing a new skirt. image

Elon's Gone Loopy! Tesla Owners Bail Like Lois When I Cook Dinner!

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:08
2 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on the DHS initiative offering stipends and travel assistance to unauthorized immigrants who voluntarily depart the U.S. Will this save taxpayer dollars or is it just plain quackers? image

Aw, Phooey! Homeland Security's Giving Away MY Money?! $1000 to Go Home?!

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:59
2 minutes to read

Ford faces uncertainty with tariffs and investor concerns surrounding its 2025 financial guidance, reminiscent of a box of chocolates – you never know what you're gonna get! image

Ford's in a Box of Chocolates: Tariffs and 2025 Plans - You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!

Mon 05 May, 2025 16:00
2 minutes to read

Function Health buys full-body MRI startup Ezra, launching a $499, 22-minute scan to democratize preventative health. Because early detection shouldn't be a luxury. image

Function Health Acquires Ezra: Finally, Healthcare That Doesn't Require a Harvard Degree (or Kim K's Budget)

Mon 05 May, 2025 16:00
3 minutes to read

An analysis of why CrowdStrike and Uber are making waves in the stock market, with insights into their performance, resilience, and potential for future growth, all filtered through a Petersonian lens. image

Clean Your Room and Buy Stocks: CrowdStrike and Uber Crack the Peterson-Approved List

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:32
4 minutes to read

Treasury Secretary pitches Trump's 'America First Vision' to global investors, promising a harvest of profits while leaving many wondering if it's just another Protoss trick. image

Harvest Time for the Rich? Trump's Economic Promises Spark Zergling Rush of Questions

Mon 05 May, 2025 16:23
3 minutes to read

Warren Buffett steps down as CEO, passing the torch to Greg Abel, leaving investors wondering if this is the end of an era or just another plot twist in the Berkshire Hathaway saga. image

Warren Buffett's Outta Here! Berkshire Hathaway Gets a New Pilot (But Don't Panic, Earthlings)

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:56
4 minutes to read

Market analyst Gary Shilling suggests that India's growing population and service-based economy make it an attractive investment opportunity amidst U.S.-China trade tensions. image

India: The New Frontier? One Analyst's Eye on a Booming Nation

Mon 05 May, 2025 12:43
3 minutes to read

A Bear Grylls-esque take on today's market news, from Trump's trade antics to Buffett's succession and the fluctuating oil prices. Get ready to adapt and survive! image

Wall Street's Wild Ride: Trump Tariffs, Buffett's Exit, and the Hunt for Survival!

Mon 05 May, 2025 12:58
3 minutes to read