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Wonder Woman reports on after-hours trading: Healthcare stocks soar on Trump-era policy revival, while Levi Strauss flexes its denim muscles, and other companies experience mixed fortunes. image

Trump Card Played in After-Hours Trading! Is the Market Healing or Just Masking Symptoms?

Mon 07 April, 2025 21:28
3 minutes to read

Geralt of Rivia investigates the recent oil price plunge, tariff tantrums, and whether we should all be stockpiling dimeritium bombs. image

Tariffs and Tribulations! Is the World About to End... Again?

Mon 07 April, 2025 18:48
3 minutes to read

A grizzled billionaire's take on the recent market volatility, potential tariff pauses, and how he plans to exploit the chaos for personal gain! Excellent! image

Smithers Bring Me My Market Manipulation Monocle! Is the Stock Market Finally Mine for the Taking?!

Mon 07 April, 2025 18:15
2 minutes to read

Ken Fisher says Trump's tariffs are 'stupid' and will fail, potentially setting the stage for a stock market rebound. Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts Tariffs! Billionaire Says Trump's Trade War is a Total Doh-ver!

Mon 07 April, 2025 18:44
2 minutes to read

Recent market drops due to tariff introductions are causing investors to rethink their strategies, but financial advisors recommend sticking to a well-thought-out plan. Yeah, baby, yeah! image

Are Your Investments in Danger?! Tariffs Threaten Your 401(k) Groovy Baby!

Mon 07 April, 2025 20:05
2 minutes to read

Yo, check it! Mizuho says the tariff drama's got some stocks lookin' real good, like a fresh pair of Jordans on sale. Time to get your investment groove on! image

Tariffgeddon?! Will These Stocks Save Your Bank Account From Going POOF!

Mon 07 April, 2025 19:58
3 minutes to read

Kimbal Musk criticizes Trumps tariffs as a tax on American consumers, while Elon Musk spars with a Trump advisor, creating tension within the Musk empire. image

Elon Musks Brother Calls Trump High Tax President! Ay, Chihuahua!

Mon 07 April, 2025 20:22
3 minutes to read

Donkey reports on General Motors unveiling a wild, electric Corvette concept car in England, signaling a potential return to Europe amidst trade tensions and EV adoption challenges. image

Holy Guacamole! GM's Cookin' Up a NEW Electric Corvette...But is Europe Ready?!

Mon 07 April, 2025 20:05
3 minutes to read

Bender reports on how hedge funds are betting against stocks as Trump's tariffs cause market chaos, potentially leading to a recession. Oh, and where's the beer? image

Trump's Tariffs Trigger Total Meltdown! Is This the End of the World as We Know It?

Mon 07 April, 2025 19:01
2 minutes to read

Professor Dumbledore analyzes the recent market turmoil caused by tariffs and offers a wizard's perspective on potential future scenarios, with a dash of humor and financial wisdom. image

Is the Stock Market About to Vanish Like a Disappearing Cabinet?!

Mon 07 April, 2025 20:17
3 minutes to read