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Warren Buffett is passing the torch to Greg Abel, a name you might not know now, but trust me, you will. Get ready for a new era at Berkshire Hathaway! image

OMG! Warren Buffett's Successor? Meet the Guy Who's Gonna Be Running the Show! As if!

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:27
3 minutes to read

A whirlwind analysis of market volatility, Apple's AI ambitions, and DuPont's strategic split, all seen through the lens of yours truly, Elon Musk. image

Markets Wobble, Apple Eyes AI, and DuPont Does the Math: My Take as the Dogefather

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:53
2 minutes to read

Cardinals convene in the Sistine Chapel to elect Pope Francis's successor, with black smoke indicating an initial stalemate and the world watching with bated breath. image

Smoke Signals from the Vatican: A New Shepherd for the Flock?

Wed 07 May, 2025 19:34
3 minutes to read

Republican candidate Judge Jefferson Griffin concedes after a six-month legal battle, securing a win for Democratic Justice Allison Riggs and safeguarding the integrity of North Carolina's Supreme Court. image

North Carolina's Election Survival: A Grylls-Style Victory for Democracy!

Wed 07 May, 2025 19:45
3 minutes to read

Even the Gods are stashing coin! The Federal Reserve chills, yields stay strong, and cash proves a worthy shield against market storms. But don't get too comfy, or you'll end up like King Aelle in a snake pit. image

Valhalla's Vault: Why Holding Cash is Now More Glorious Than Plundering England... Almost

Wed 07 May, 2025 19:03
3 minutes to read

Cybersecurity giant CrowdStrike sacrifices 500 employees to the AI gods, yet vows to press on, fueled by ambition and a lust for $10 billion in revenue. image

CrowdStrike's AI Purge: 500 Souls to be Reaped, But the Falcon Still Soars!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:04
2 minutes to read

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spidey Reports on Potential Changes to AI Chip Export Rules, and What it Means for Nvidia and the Whole Web of Tech. image

Holy Motherboard! Trump May Web-Swing Away From Chip Restrictions!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

President Trump doubles down on tariffs against China, rejecting any rollback to grease the wheels for trade negotiations, while Treasury Secretary Mnuchin gears up for talks in Switzerland. image

Trump's Tariff Standoff: No Deal, No Dice, Just Dollars

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:56
3 minutes to read

BCA Research suggests Bitcoin could benefit from investors losing faith in the U.S. economy and its assets, upgrading the digital commodity to neutral. image

Elementary, My Dear Investors: Bitcoin's Rise as US Safe Haven Status Crumbles!

Wed 07 May, 2025 16:45
3 minutes to read

Tommy Shelby reports on the slight dip in student loan interest rates for 2025-2026, reminding borrowers that even a small win in this rigged game is still a win. image

By Order of the Treasury: Student Loan Rates Take a Haircut

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:01
2 minutes to read