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Deutsche Bank says Coty's beauty ship is taking on water due to tariffs and slow growth, leaving investors with a face full of Sea King drool! image

Shiver Me Timbers! Coty's Sinking Faster Than Sanji When He Sees a Mermaid!

Thu 08 May, 2025 11:29
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes Wall Street's recent upgrades, downgrades, and reiterations, with a sprinkle of doomsday devices and a dash of 'what-ifs'. image

Good News Everyone! Wall Street's Wild Ride Through Stocks and Flavors!

Thu 08 May, 2025 12:22
2 minutes to read

Restaurant Brands International faces a challenging quarter as Popeyes, Burger King, and Tim Hortons experience sales declines, but the company anticipates a turnaround with improved momentum in the second quarter. image

E=MC...hicken? Restaurant Brands' Sales Dip, But Hope Still Simmers!

Thu 08 May, 2025 12:25
3 minutes to read

Looks like ol' Donny T is having a tantrum because the Fed ain't playing his game. Will the whole thing blow up in our faces? Only time (and maybe a few rockets) will tell! image

TRUMP RAGES AT 'FOOL' POWELL! IS THE FED ABOUT TO EXPLODE?!

Thu 08 May, 2025 12:25
3 minutes to read

Like a Super Saiyan bargain, the UK and US are set to seal a trade deal, dodging some nasty tariff blasts along the way! Can anyone say Kaio-what a deal? image

Kamehame-HA! Britain and the U.S. Power Up Their Trade Fusion!

Thu 08 May, 2025 12:02
2 minutes to read

Shipping giant Maersk navigates U.S.-China trade war, reporting strong profits amid tariff turmoil and Red Sea disruption. image

Maersk's Trade Tussle: Tariffs Bite, But This Ain't Over!

Thu 08 May, 2025 09:08
2 minutes to read

Citadel CEO Ken Griffin, a former Trump supporter, warns that the ex-President's tariffs are a 'painfully regressive tax' hitting working-class Americans hardest, while also critiquing the overall economic strategies. image

By Hera! Billionaire Sounds Alarm: Trump's Tariffs Smacking Hardworking Americans!

Wed 07 May, 2025 21:31
3 minutes to read

Former soccer player launches FC Mother, a for-profit venture to improve maternal health by harnessing the power of soccer fandom. Is this a stroke of genius or another one of Doctor Evil's diabolical schemes? image

Rival Soccer Moms? Doctor Evil's Plan to Gamify Maternal Health...For PROFIT! Muhahaha!

Thu 08 May, 2025 10:00
2 minutes to read

Optimus Prime reports on the Federal Reserve's decision to hold interest rates steady amidst tariff turmoil and economic uncertainty. image

Federal Reserve Holds Steady: More Than Meets the Eye?

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:49
3 minutes to read

RBC upgrades Mosaic's stock due to favorable conditions in phosphate and potash markets, signaling potential profit growth for the fertilizer giant. image

Fascinating! Mosaic's Phosphate Fortune Rises in Tight Market Galaxy

Thu 08 May, 2025 09:54
3 minutes to read