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the latest news around the world

Showing 3251 to 3260 of 5471 news articles
Walter White dissects the misguided American fascination with real estate and gold investments, advising a more Heisenberg-ian approach to financial growth. image
Headlines

Stay Out of My Territory: Why Your Gold and Real Estate Obsession is a Los Pollos Mistake

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 13:20
  • 2 minutes to read
Quagmire's take on the Bitcoin frenzy: An analyst says his $120,000 price target is too low, and I say, 'Giggity Giggity Goo!' Let's get this party started! image
Headlines

Giggity! Bitcoin to the Moon, Baby! My Wallet's Ready for Some Action!

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 13:10
  • 2 minutes to read
From stock market surges fueled by Trump's deal to chip stock rallies and analyst reactions, this is your daily dose of Wall Street absurdity, narrated by yours truly. image
Headlines

Trump's Trade Triumph and Chip Stock Shenanigans! What a Week, Eh?

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 13:07
  • 3 minutes to read
Shopify's stock took a nosedive after some 'meh' earnings reports and those stupid tariffs Trump keeps blabbing about. Looks like even rich people don't wanna pay more for crap from China! image
Headlines

Screw You Guys, I'm Shorting Shopify! (And Blaming Trump!)

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 13:52
  • 2 minutes to read
A key Senate vote on the GENIUS Act, aiming to regulate stablecoins, hangs in the balance as several Democrats withdraw their support, citing concerns over anti-money laundering and national security. image
Headlines

Senate's Crypto Cage Match: GENIUS Act Faces Predator-Sized Opposition!

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 13:47
  • 2 minutes to read
Stock futures rally on news of a UK trade agreement, but veterans of Xenomorph battles remain skeptical. image
Headlines

Another Day, Another Deal: Trump Touts Trade, Wall Street Holds Its Breath

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 13:19
  • 3 minutes to read
Gandalf the Grey reports on the recent FTX lawsuit dismissal, finding the legal proceedings as perplexing as a hobbit's riddles. image
Headlines

Not All That Glitters is Gold: FTX Celebrity Lawsuit Fizzles, a Wizard's Perspective

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 14:12
  • 3 minutes to read
President Trump unveils a trade agreement with the UK, but whispers of ongoing negotiations and past tariff escapades leave us wondering if this deal is truly as 'comprehensive' as he claims. Link investigates! image
Headlines

Trump Announces UK Trade Deal: Is This the Hero We Needed, or Just Another Cucco Attack?

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 14:25
  • 2 minutes to read
Even CR7 can't ignore AppLovin's winning streak! Wells Fargo pumps up their forecast after a knockout quarter and a smart game-changing deal. image
Headlines

SIII! AppLovin's Stock Soars: Wells Fargo Says It's Just Getting Started!

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 11:03
  • 2 minutes to read
Leo Messi reports on the crazy job market where even a legend needs a good strategy to score a new gig! image
Headlines

Golazo! Even Messi Can't Dribble This Job Market!

  • Thu 08 May, 2025 11:00
  • 3 minutes to read

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