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Lyft defies economic gloom with a surge in bookings, a juiced-up share buyback plan, and a stock price hotter than my signature Beef Wellington. But is it all just smoke and mirrors? image

Lyft's Stock Soars! Is This Ride-Sharing Company Finally Cooking With Gas?

Fri 09 May, 2025 20:11
2 minutes to read

Newark Mayor Ras Baraka arrested for trespassing at an ICE detention center, sparking a political firestorm. Doggfather weighs in! image

Fo Shizzle, My Nizzle Ras Baraka Gets Busted! Newark Mayor Trespasses, ICE-T Cold!

Fri 09 May, 2025 20:17
3 minutes to read

White House considers suspending the right to challenge unlawful detention, citing 'invasion' at the border. Rambo weighs in. image

They Draw First Blood? Trump Admin Eyes Habeas Corpus Suspension!

Fri 09 May, 2025 20:06
2 minutes to read

Axe takes a sardonic look at the week's market movements, from AI chip wars to consumer spending habits, all while planning his next power play. image

Wall Street Snoozefest: Market Yawns While I Plot My Next Billion-Dollar Deal

Fri 09 May, 2025 17:46
2 minutes to read

That old 60-40 portfolio ain't gonna cut it anymore, folks! With us living longer than ever, financial guru Ric Edelman says it's time to load up on stocks and maybe even cheat death itself! image

60-40 Portfolio? Fuggedaboutit! Saul Goodman Says You're Gonna Need More Moolah to Cheat Death!

Fri 09 May, 2025 16:47
4 minutes to read

Your favorite President analyzes the potential for Silver to surge past $31, leaving Gold in the dust! It's gonna be YUGE! image

Silver's About to SHINE! Big League Breakout Coming!

Fri 09 May, 2025 17:09
3 minutes to read

Former Waste Management CEO David Steiner takes the reins at USPS, hoping to turn around the struggling agency after a massive loss, leaving his position at FedEx. image

New Postmaster General: Can He Deliver...The Package?

Fri 09 May, 2025 17:22
2 minutes to read

Human resources software startup Rippling skyrockets to a $16.8 billion valuation after a $450 million fundraising round, proving that even in a city as chaotic as Gotham, money still makes the world go round… or at least buys a few more Batmobiles. image

Rippling Effect: $16.8 Billion Valuation? Gotham's More Predictable Than This Tech Boom!

Fri 09 May, 2025 17:21
2 minutes to read

Darth Vader analyzes Wells Fargo's grim forecast for BBB-rated corporate bonds, urging investors to choose wisely or face the consequences of the Force. image

The Dark Side of BBB Bonds: Wells Fargo Warns of Impending Doom for Investors!

Fri 09 May, 2025 18:02
3 minutes to read

After a juicy court battle and a sassy ruling, Fortnite's trying to make a grand return to the App Store, hoping Apple doesn't throw any more shade. image

Fortnite's Comeback? Epic Games Slides Back into Apple's World!

Fri 09 May, 2025 17:28
2 minutes to read