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Bender's take on Bank of America's stock picks: Coupang, PayPal, Fidelity National, Relx, and Flutter – because who needs savings accounts when you can gamble on the future? image

Buy These Stocks Now Or You'll End Up Like Fry! Bank of America's Hot Tips!

Sat 19 April, 2025 11:59
3 minutes to read

Elliott Investment Management acquires a significant stake in Hewlett Packard Enterprise, aiming to unlock value through strategic activism and improved execution amidst market undervaluation and the pending Juniper Networks acquisition. image

Elliott's $1.5B Bet on Hewlett Packard Enterprise Could Magic Away Underperformance!

Sat 19 April, 2025 12:03
4 minutes to read

Scorpion reports on the hidden weaknesses in the U.S. stock market, revealing how a few tech giants masked a broader decline before tariffs took center stage. image

Get Over Here and Witness the Stock Market's Impending Doom!

Sat 19 April, 2025 11:55
3 minutes to read

A humorous take on how Partiful, a party-planning startup, thrived despite pandemic challenges and competition from tech giants like Apple, carving a niche with Gen Z through its casual and customizable designs. image

Partiful Kicks Apple's App-le Bottom! Underdog Party App Defies Copycat Tactics!

Sat 19 April, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

The Supreme Court temporarily halted the Trump administration's deportation of Venezuelan men, sparking a potential constitutional showdown over immigration enforcement and executive power. image

Say Hello To My Little Pause! Supreme Court Slaps Trump's Deportation Plans!

Sat 19 April, 2025 07:37
5 minutes to read

Captain Jack Sparrow reports on the high-seas drama between the United States and Iran as they navigate treacherous nuclear negotiations in Rome, with the ghost of past deals haunting their every move. image

Blimey! Trump and Iran in a Nuclear Standoff! Will They Negotiate or Throw Down the Gauntlet?!

Sat 19 April, 2025 07:20
2 minutes to read

Volvo announces layoffs at U.S. facilities citing market uncertainty and tariff-related concerns, but Chuck Norris is here to deliver a swift dose of reality and maybe a spinning back fist. image

Volvo Messes With Texas! 800 Jobs Face Roundhouse Kick!

Fri 18 April, 2025 22:33
2 minutes to read

Hertz CEO Gil West expresses optimism as Bill Ackman's Pershing Square takes a significant stake in the rental car company, boosting share prices and signaling a potential turnaround. image

Hertz So Good! Ackman's Investment Sends Hertz Shares Sky High!

Fri 18 April, 2025 21:43
3 minutes to read

President Trump's plan to reclassify federal employees sparks concerns over job security and mass layoffs, raising eyebrows and hackles among governance experts and union leaders alike. image

Trump's Got a Wabbit Habit! Mass Layoffs Loom Over Federal Workers! What's Up Doc!?

Fri 18 April, 2025 21:38
2 minutes to read

Donald Trump announces changes to civil service rules, aiming to align career government employees with presidential policy priorities, promising to run the government like a business. image

Trump's New Rules! Is He Trying to Run America Like a Bloody Betting Shop?

Fri 18 April, 2025 20:10
2 minutes to read