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Master Chief reports on Trump's renewed 'most favored nation' policy, questioning if it's the right weapon against soaring drug costs or just another plasma grenade bouncing back. image

Trump's Prescription: A Shotgun Approach to Drug Prices... or Did He Just Pick Up the Wrong Weapon?

Mon 12 May, 2025 13:44
3 minutes to read

Joker's take on the US-China trade deal: strategic decoupling, tariffs, and a fentanyl pause—all part of the grand joke? image

Why So Serious About Trade? America's 'Decoupling' Act with China!

Mon 12 May, 2025 14:20
2 minutes to read

Nissan's downsizing like Carlton at a dance-off, cutting 20,000 jobs worldwide to bounce back from financial woes. Talk about a bad hair day! image

Nissan's Gettin' Jiggy Wit' the Layoffs: 20,000 Jobs Gone!

Mon 12 May, 2025 10:59
2 minutes to read

Puss in Boots reports on the battle brewing between musicians and AI developers over copyright laws in the UK. Will the artists triumph, or will their work be 'scraped' into oblivion? image

Ai Caramba! Music Royalty Draws Swords Against AI Copyright Raiders!

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:11
4 minutes to read

Donkey reports on the wild ride of oil prices as the US and China bury the hatchet (or at least, put it down for a bit) on tariffs, making things a little less gloomy for everyone, especially those fancy shale oil folks! image

Oil's Gettin' High! Tariffs Tumble and Prices Take Flight! Hallelujah!

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:11
2 minutes to read

After a temporary tariff truce between the U.S. and China, tech stocks are soaring, making Bender reconsider his career choice (maybe). image

Bender Predicts Tech Stock Rally: "Bite My Shiny Metal... Profits!"

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:24
2 minutes to read

Professor Dumbledore analyzes the stock market's reaction to US-China tariff reductions, the rise of Big Tech and Retail, and the plunge of Pharma stocks, with a touch of magic and a dash of wit. image

Tariffs Tamed! A Dumbledore's Eye View on Market Merriment and Medicinal Mayhem

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:21
3 minutes to read

Scorpion reviews the latest Wall Street calls, from Nvidia's potential to Target's downfall, with fiery wit and vengeful commentary. image

GET OVER HERE! Wall Street's Fatality Round-Up: Stocks Rise, Fall, and Face My WRATH!

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:05
2 minutes to read

Jackie Chan gives his hilarious take on the US Treasury Secretary's announcement of upcoming trade talks with China, filled with martial arts metaphors and classic Chan-isms. image

Hai Ya! Trade Talks Kickin' Again! Jackie Chan on US-China Negotiations!

Mon 12 May, 2025 11:55
2 minutes to read

The Federal Reserve is playing the waiting game, leaving interest rates untouched for now. But fear not, future Earthicans, potential savings opportunities are on the horizon! image

Good News, Everyone! Fed Stays Put, But Rate Cuts Loom Like a Doomsday Device (Maybe)

Fri 09 May, 2025 18:18
4 minutes to read