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Borat reports on the impending financial crisis in American public schools due to the expiration of pandemic relief funds and declining enrollment. image

Great Success or Big Problem? American Schools Face Financial Disaster!?

Tue 22 April, 2025 19:15
2 minutes to read

The FDA is phasing out petroleum-based food dyes, potentially changing the colors and formulas of beloved snacks. Will your Flamin' Hots survive? image

Flamin' Hot Apocalypse! Are Your Favorite Snacks About to Get Healthy(ish)?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 21:16
4 minutes to read

A Terminator's eye view on the stock market's extended trading session, where some companies surged like a T-1000, and others... well, they need a new catchphrase. image

Hasta La Vista, Stock Market Blues! Companies That Terminated Expectations!

Tue 22 April, 2025 21:22
2 minutes to read

President Trump clarifies he has no plans to remove Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, causing stock futures to rise and Asmongold to question everything. image

Trump Says He Won't Fire Powell! Is This The End of the Bald Man's Reign?

Tue 22 April, 2025 22:12
2 minutes to read

Amidst market turmoil and presidential pressure on the Fed, investors grapple with uncertainty, focusing on Q1 earnings and the growth-value stock dynamic to navigate the choppy waters. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! image

Investors in a Panic! Is This the End of Growth Stocks as We Know Them?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 18:52
3 minutes to read

Despite trade war worries and potential tariff hikes, American consumers are showing surprising loyalty to the iPhone, buoyed by positive upgrade intentions and adoption of Apple Intelligence. image

Apple Sticking Around Like Peas and Carrots?! Tariff Fears Not Shaking iPhone Love!

Tue 22 April, 2025 18:40
2 minutes to read

Americans are worried about rising prices due to tariffs, leading to changes in spending habits and increased focus on emergency savings. Time to pivot, folks! image

Are Tariffs Crushing Your Dreams of a Metaverse Vacation?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 19:37
2 minutes to read

Economists and policy experts cast doubt on President Trump's suggestion that tariff revenue could replace federal income tax, citing significant discrepancies between the tax bases and potential economic consequences. image

Trump's Tariff Dream! Can Taxes on Imports Really Replace Income Tax?

Tue 22 April, 2025 18:25
4 minutes to read

Wall Street rallies as signs emerge that Trump may be softening his stance on trade, opting for quick deals over drawn-out battles. The Queen of Blades weighs in with her unique perspective. image

Trump Backpedals on Trade! Is Wall Street Finally Getting Its Way?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 19:54
3 minutes to read

Agent J breaks down the latest investment advice: high-quality dividends are your best bet in this volatile market. Plus, a peek at Goldman, JPMorgan, Chevron, and PulteGroup. image

Is Your Portfolio Bugging Out?! Agent J's Guide to Surviving the Market Mayhem!

Tue 22 April, 2025 20:21
2 minutes to read