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Agent J reports on the recent market rally fueled by tariff agreements, sector performance, and individual stock highlights, all while keeping an eye out for alien shenanigans. image

Noisy Crickets and Wall Street Wizards: Agent J's Take on the Market Surge

Mon 12 May, 2025 23:22
3 minutes to read

Samsung unveils the ultra-thin Galaxy S25 Edge in a bold move to outmaneuver Apple and Chinese rivals amidst uncertain market conditions, proving that sometimes, less is more. image

Shaken, Not Stirred: Samsung's Slim New Weapon Against Apple's Thin Ice

Tue 13 May, 2025 00:00
2 minutes to read

A temporary pause in US-China tariffs sends tech stocks, including the Magnificent 7, soaring, adding over $837 billion in market value. image

Tariff Truce Sparks Tech Triumphs: Magnificent 7 Soar!

Mon 12 May, 2025 20:46
3 minutes to read

A Millennial and Gen Z Financial Reality Check: Are We All Just Living to 'Break Even'? image

OMG! Is the American Dream Over? Even I'm Feeling This Economic Shade!

Mon 12 May, 2025 21:47
3 minutes to read

A satirical take on Trump's ambitious yet uncertain plan to lower U.S. drug costs by linking them to international prices, questioning its feasibility and potential impact. image

Trump's Drug Price Plan: Is It Going to the Moon or Just a Dud Rocket?

Mon 12 May, 2025 20:38
3 minutes to read

Coinbase joins the S&P 500, replacing Discover, as Bitcoin soars, marking a significant moment for the cryptocurrency exchange amidst market volatility and expansion efforts. image

Coinbase Ascends to the S&P 500: A Crypto Giant's Leap, But Will It Stick the Landing?

Mon 12 May, 2025 22:02
3 minutes to read

Mr. Bean reports on the return of student loan garnishments and what it means for borrowers who are, shall we say, financially…flexible. image

Oh Dear! My Wages Vanishing Like Biscuits from a Biscuit Tin!

Mon 12 May, 2025 18:26
3 minutes to read

Fidelity customers face login problems during a major market rally fueled by tariff cut news, leaving investors in a state of digital limbo. image

Fidelity's Judgment Day: Login Issues Strike as Market Surges!

Mon 12 May, 2025 19:33
3 minutes to read

Even with recent trade deals, US tariffs are still higher than a kite, costing families a fortune. Time to adapt, or get left behind, compadre! image

Say Hello to My Little Tariff: US Trade Gets a 'Facelift'!

Mon 12 May, 2025 19:43
3 minutes to read

Captain Jack Sparrow reports on the temporary truce between the U.S. and China, and which stocks are set to benefit most from the easing of trade tensions, savvy? image

Shiver Me Timbers! Trade Truce Ahoy! Stocks Set to Soar!

Mon 12 May, 2025 19:26
3 minutes to read