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A whimsical look at Wednesday's stock market gains, Bristol Myers Squibb's drug trial setback, and upcoming earnings reports, penned from the perspective of yours truly, Albert Einstein. image

Eureka! Stock Market Rollercoaster and a Schizophrenia Drug Fumble! Is There Still Hope?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 18:39
3 minutes to read

Jinx here, reporting on the market madness! Stocks are up, but one company's schizophrenia drug trial went kaboom! Plus, Cramer's crew is watching Capital One's big buy. Let's cause some chaos! image

Did This Drug Trial Explode Like One Of My Bombs?! Markets Go Boom, But This Stock... Ouch!

Wed 23 April, 2025 18:39
2 minutes to read

Goku reports on Wall Street adding Netflix to its All-Weather Stock List, citing its surprising resilience amidst economic uncertainty, alongside updates on Berkshire Hathaway and Waste Management. image

Netflix the New Super Saiyan of Stocks?! Even Goku is Confused!

Wed 23 April, 2025 19:29
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on the stock market's recent struggles to break through resistance levels amidst tariff uncertainty, leaving investors in a state of 'wait-and-see'. image

Holy Crap! Stock Market's Got a Case of the Mondays (Again!) Will Tariffs Ruin My Beer Budget?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 19:57
3 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on the stock market's recent struggles to break through resistance levels, the uncertainty surrounding tariffs, and what it all means for investors. Aw, phooey! image

Stock Market Rollercoaster Ride Will It Ever End?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 19:57
2 minutes to read

Forrest Gump reports on how Trump's tariffs are affecting businesses and consumers, just like Jenny affected my heart. image

Tariffs are Like a Box of Chocolates You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!

Wed 23 April, 2025 19:28
2 minutes to read

Mark Zuckerberg humorously dissects the lawsuit against Donald Trump's tariffs, highlighting potential chaos and questioning the definition of 'emergency' in trade policy. image

Zuckerberg Reacts! Trump's Tariff Tantrum Facing Legal Fury!

Wed 23 April, 2025 20:24
2 minutes to read

A dozen states sue the Trump administration over new tariffs, arguing they're illegal and unconstitutional. Is this the end of free trade as we know it? image

Trump's Tariff Tantrum! Is the Constitution Being Zucked?

Wed 23 April, 2025 20:24
3 minutes to read

Goldman Sachs identifies dividend-paying stocks like PepsiCo, Citigroup, and Xcel Energy as potential safe havens for investors navigating market volatility. image

Are Dividend Stocks the Answer to Your Prayers! Goldman Sachs Reveals Top Picks!

Wed 23 April, 2025 19:38
4 minutes to read

Goldman Sachs identifies top dividend-paying stocks like PepsiCo, Citigroup, and Xcel Energy to help investors navigate market volatility and secure steady income amidst economic uncertainty. image

Are Dividend Stocks Your Ticket to Financial Salvation! Goldman Sachs Reveals All!

Wed 23 April, 2025 19:38
3 minutes to read