Headlines - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 3001 to 3010 of 4207 news articles

Wall Street analysts are bullish on AT&T's strong performance, viewing it as a safe haven and high-yielding investment amidst market uncertainties, but Darth Vader has his own analysis, colored by the dark side. image

AT&T: The Empire's New Hope or Just Another Alderaan? Analysts Weigh In

Thu 24 April, 2025 14:09
3 minutes to read

Wall Street analysts are increasingly confident in AT&T, citing strong subscriber growth, expanding margins, and a safe haven status despite macroeconomic uncertainties. Could this be the investment to bring balance to your portfolio? image

AT&T: The Empire's New Financial Death Star? Analysts See a Powerful Surge

Thu 24 April, 2025 14:09
3 minutes to read

Hedge fund giant Bridgewater Associates warns that Trump's economic policies are paving the road to recession, with potential damage to financial assets and a shift away from U.S. investments. image

Toss a Coin to Your Broker? Trump's Tariffs Trigger Economic Apocalypse, Says Bridgewater!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:46
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns dissects the recent surge in durable goods orders ahead of potential tariffs, offering his unique perspective on the economy, labor, and the future of Springfield. image

Excellent! Durable Goods Soar as Trump's Tariffs Loom, Smithers!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:05
2 minutes to read

The Trump administration is thinking about investing in mining companies to kick China's butt in the critical minerals game. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, China! Trump's Mineral Mania!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:52
2 minutes to read

The Trump administration is thinking about investing in companies that dig up rocks to stop us from relying on China for all our gadgets. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, China! Trump Wants to Mine All the Rocks!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:52
2 minutes to read

Austin Powers reports on Deutsche Bank's sudden change of heart on the stock market, blaming those dastardly tariffs and potential approval rating dips. Oh, behave! image

Groovy Gloom: Deutsche Bank Dumps Disco Optimism on Wall Street!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:20
2 minutes to read

Even the bulls are feeling the pinch as trade tensions and tariff tantrums threaten to Austin Powers' chances of living lavishly! image

Groovy Baby! Wall Street's Mojo Slippin' as Stock Market Gets a Tariff Tangle!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:20
2 minutes to read

Cleveland Fed President Beth Hammack advises patience on interest rates amid tariff uncertainty, leaving Wall Street sweating more than Uncle Phil after a game of racquetball. image

Yo, Check It! The Fed's Playing It Cool Like Jazz While Trump's Tariffs Throw Shade!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:52
2 minutes to read

The former president voices disapproval of Russian strikes following his claims of a potential peace deal, leaving this gato in boots thoroughly perplexed. image

Holy Frijoles! Trump Tells Putin 'STOP!' After Kyiv Attacks

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:53
3 minutes to read