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Wolfe Research warns of a potential significant drop in the S&P 500 if a mild recession hits, painting a bleak picture for investors. image

The Market is Glitching: Could the S&P 500 Plunge Back to 3700?

Thu 24 April, 2025 20:15
2 minutes to read

Reports suggest a potential trade war could lead to product shortages, with apparel and footwear being the first to go. Looks like someone's gonna have to kick some economic ass! image

Hail to the King, Baby! Trade War Could Leave Store Shelves Barer Than My One-Liners!

Thu 24 April, 2025 19:25
3 minutes to read

The once-dominant Magnificent 7 tech stocks are losing their grip on the market, forcing Wall Street to seek new champions for a true rally. Is this a Khaleesi-level crisis, or merely a change in the winds? image

Winter is NOT Coming for Tech: Mag 7 Wobbles, but the Market Still Bends the Knee

Thu 24 April, 2025 20:01
3 minutes to read

The Trump Organization is selling 'Trump 2028' merchandise, sparking speculation about a third term bid and raising eyebrows in the global governance community. image

Trump's 2028 Hats: A 'Rewrite the Rules' Moment or Just Another Brick in the Great Reset?

Thu 24 April, 2025 19:50
2 minutes to read

Indiana Jones investigates the recent staff cuts at Meta's VR division, finding a plot twist worthy of a lost ark...or at least a broken pair of virtual reality goggles. image

Meta's Reality Labs: More Like Unreality Labs After Latest Layoffs!

Thu 24 April, 2025 19:54
2 minutes to read

Meta's Reality Labs, responsible for VR and AR tech, experiences layoffs in its Oculus Studios unit. Looks like someone didn't say their carrots! image

Eh, What's Up With Meta's Reality Labs? Doc, They're Shrinking!

Thu 24 April, 2025 19:54
2 minutes to read

Despite exceeding first-quarter estimates, Intel's stock plummets amidst disappointing guidance and cost-cutting measures, leaving investors in a fog thicker than a London pea-souper. image

Elementary, My Dear Investor: Intel's Woes Decoded!

Thu 24 April, 2025 20:24
4 minutes to read

Shrek reports on why even swamp-dwellers need to diversify their investments in these crazy times, finding that a mix of assets is better than just sticking to onions and mud. image

What In Tarnation? Even Ogre's Gotta Diversify His Swamp Investments!

Thu 24 April, 2025 16:41
3 minutes to read

Iron Man analyzes Bristol Myers Squibb's recent earnings beat, stock woes, and future prospects, offering a satirical and humorous perspective on the pharmaceutical giant's challenges and opportunities. image

Bristol Myers Squibb's Wild Ride: Iron Man's Take on Profits, Patents, and Potential DOOM!

Thu 24 April, 2025 17:45
3 minutes to read

Despite aggressive tariffs, Europe clings to transatlantic trust, hoping for a zero-for-zero deal and dodging economic stagnation, but is it just another Hunger Games? image

Trump's Tariff Games: Is Europe Really Buying What He's Selling?

Thu 24 April, 2025 17:27
3 minutes to read