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Mario dives into Bank of America's tips for navigating market chaos with high-quality dividend stocks, proving even a plumber can understand Wall Street! image

It's-a Me, Mario! Predicting Market Mayhem (and Mushrooms!) with Bank of America!

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:01
3 minutes to read

Lara Croft investigates Bank of America's tips on navigating market volatility with high-quality, dividend-yielding financial stocks. Expect puns, perils, and perhaps a few ancient artifacts. image

Raiders of the Lost Dividends: Can High-Yield Stocks Save Your Loot?

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:01
3 minutes to read

Two judges, one in New Mexico and one in Wisconsin, find themselves in a rocky situation after allegedly interfering with immigration enforcement. Looks like someone's going to the quarry... of justice! image

Yabba Dabba Doo Arrests! Judges in Hot Water Over Immigration Kerfuffle!

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:35
3 minutes to read

A former New Mexico judge and a Wisconsin judge find themselves on the wrong side of the law, accused of obstructing Trump-era immigration enforcement. Is this justice or just another cosmic kerfuffle? image

Higher Further Faster? More Like Higher Further Farcical! Judges Arrested in Immigration Enforcement Snafu

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:35
3 minutes to read

Senators Warren and Schiff cry foul over Trump's meme coin dinner, Hulk think it stink! image

Hulk SMASH! Trump Meme Coin Scheme Make Hulk ANGRY!

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:18
2 minutes to read

A new analysis reveals how Trump's tariffs disproportionately impact the poorest U.S. households, making even my free kicks look fair in comparison. image

Trump's Tariff Tango: Even Messi Can't Dribble Around These Taxes!

Fri 25 April, 2025 16:47
3 minutes to read

Luffy here, reporting on who's up, who's down, and who's got the meat! (Spoiler: Tesla might have the most meat this time!) image

SHISHISHI! T-Mobile's Lost Treasure and Tesla's Gum-Gum Rocket Ride! A Luffy News Report!

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:50
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes MercadoLibre CEO's prediction that Latin America could benefit from the U.S.-China trade war, with a dash of doomsday scenarios and senile commentary. image

Good News Everyone! Trade War Profits Predicted by Argentinian Mogul!

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:36
2 minutes to read

MercadoLibre CEO Marcos Galperin thinks Latin America could benefit from the U.S.-China trade war, while I, Professor Farnsworth, mostly just worry about running out of Slurm. image

Good News Everyone! Latin America Poised to Profit From Trade Wars, Says Some Guy Who's Not Me (Sadly)

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:36
2 minutes to read

The Communication Services Select SPDR Fund (XLC), heavily influenced by Meta, Netflix, and Alphabet, navigates a crucial juncture that will likely determine the direction of the broader market. Is it a breakout or a breakdown? Only time (and a bit of quantum entanglement) will tell! image

XLC's Quantum Quandary: A Market's Fate Hanging by a Thread!

Fri 25 April, 2025 17:16
4 minutes to read