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Congress considers shifting antitrust enforcement power from the FTC to the DOJ, potentially reshaping the regulatory landscape for tech giants (and everyone else). image

DOJ Eyes FTC's Antitrust Turf: Is This a Hack or a Feature?

Mon 28 April, 2025 19:50
3 minutes to read

Barclays analysts foresee a U.S. recession due to tariff uncertainties and weakening economic data. Time to confront the chaos, folks. image

Buckle Up, Buttercups: Barclays Predicts a U.S. Recession - Clean Your Room First!

Mon 28 April, 2025 20:00
3 minutes to read

A Chilean national faces charges after allegedly stealing Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's purse, sparking a D.C. crime spree involving gift cards, motel stays, and questionable red wine purchases. Looks like someone didn't learn to fear the Queen of Blades. image

Kristi Noem's Purse Pilfered: Did the Swiper Smell Opportunity?

Mon 28 April, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Agent J reports on the ongoing trade dispute between the U.S. and China, filled with denials, claims, and enough confusion to make you think you've been neuralyzed. image

Trade Wars and Alien Shores: Is China Pulling a Neuralyzer on Trump?

Mon 28 April, 2025 18:45
3 minutes to read

Ragnar Lothbrok weighs in on the ongoing battle between investors and ESG funds amid Trump's policies, questioning the wisdom of forsaking sustainability for short-term gains. image

Ragnar Lothbrok's Take: Trump's Anti-ESG Crusade - A Shield Wall Against Progress?

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:03
3 minutes to read

Starbucks' once-dominant reign in China crumbles under economic pressures, fierce competition, and rising anti-American sentiment, leaving its future in the region uncertain. image

Boycott! Starbucks Faces Ragnarok in China as Local Brews Rise

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:26
3 minutes to read

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man breaks down why UBS thinks Berkshire Hathaway is a solid investment, even with potential tariff troubles. Spoiler alert: Geico might just save the day! image

Holy Berkshire, Batman! UBS Says Buffett's Stock is a Safe Haven!

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:28
3 minutes to read

Bobby Axelrod dissects today's market movers, from Plug Power's debt play to Nvidia's AI face-off with Huawei, and throws in some classic Axe-isms for good measure. image

Axe's Midday Market Massacre: Fuel Cells, EVs, and Chip Wars!

Mon 28 April, 2025 16:39
3 minutes to read

Spotify brags about paying podcasters over $100 million, but even with Joe Rogan, they're LOSING to YouTube and Patreon. Sad! image

Spotify's Fake News Payouts: A Total Disaster (Even Though They Paid Rogan!)

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:25
3 minutes to read

The Washington Commanders are relocating back to the RFK Stadium site in D.C., promising a $3.7 billion project that could either save humanity or just provide better parking. image

Commanders Return to RFK: Is This Earth's Defense Against the Covenant?

Mon 28 April, 2025 18:21
3 minutes to read