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Ace Ventura dives into the House Republicans' tax bill, sniffing out the details of the temporary $4,000 deduction for older adults. Is it a 'bonus' or just monkey business? image

Allllllrighty Then! House Republicans' Tax Bill: A 'Bonus' For Seniors? Let's Investigate!

Fri 16 May, 2025 13:20
3 minutes to read

Mr. Bean investigates the case of James Comey's Instagram post and Donald Trump's explosive reaction, finding humor in the chaos and seashells. image

Comey's Cryptic Shell Game: Trump Says It's 'Assassination,' Bean Says It's Just Beach Fun!

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:26
2 minutes to read

After a grueling four-year battle with U.S. regulators, Mike Novogratz's Galaxy Digital begins trading on the Nasdaq, marking a significant milestone for the crypto industry. image

Galaxy Digital Finally Goes Public: No Fate But What We Make For Ourselves (and Our Crypto)

Fri 16 May, 2025 13:00
3 minutes to read

Despite Trump's tariffs, Bank of America predicts Birkenstock's stock will keep climbing, thanks to their European manufacturing and pricing power. The world is yours! image

Say Hello to My Little Birkenstocks: Trump's Tariffs Can't Stop the Sandal Empire!

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:01
3 minutes to read

Novo Nordisk CEO Lars Fruergaard Jørgensen steps down as the company navigates rough waters and increasing competition in the obesity drug market. Is this the end of the line, or just a change of course? image

Shiver Me Timbers! Wegovy's Captain Walks the Plank Amidst Treacherous Seas!

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:20
3 minutes to read

Nvidia clarifies its position on sending GPU designs to China amidst US export restrictions and plans for a Shanghai R&D center. Chuck Norris weighs in, because why wouldn't he? image

Nvidia Says No GPU Blueprints for China: Chuck Norris Approves (With a Roundhouse Kick of Common Sense)

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:26
2 minutes to read

A peek under the hood of the 2025 Ford Expedition reveals that 'American-Made' is more like 'Globally Assembled,' leaving even a cyclops like me seeing double. image

Holy Bender! Ford's "Made in USA" Label is Faker Than a Three-Dollar Bill!

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:23
3 minutes to read

Consumer sentiment plunges as tariff anxieties spike inflation expectations, echoing a familiar dystopian tune. But is a truce on the horizon, offering a glimmer of hope in the Matrix? image

Wake Up, Sheeple: Tariff Fears Trigger Economic Deja Vu!

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:22
2 minutes to read

Microsoft attempts to appease European regulators by unbundling Teams from Office 365 to avoid a hefty fine, following Slack's antitrust complaint. image

Microsoft's Got a Price on Their Head: EU Bounty Hunters Closing In!

Fri 16 May, 2025 11:39
2 minutes to read

Oppenheimer says chill about the Coinbase stock pullback – it's a total 'buy' opportunity, even with the whole cybercriminal drama. Like, we got this. image

Coinbase Stock Dip? Don't Worry, Besties, We're Still Rich!

Fri 16 May, 2025 10:26
2 minutes to read