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Despite a dip in quarterly results, Starbucks' turnaround plan under CEO Brian Niccol shows positive signs, prompting a tempered but optimistic outlook. image
Headlines

Starbucks Not Quite Hitting It Out of the Park But New CEO Shows Promise - A King Kohli Perspective

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 22:06
  • 4 minutes to read
Cristiano Ronaldo analyzes 'Fast Money' traders' predictions on market prospects during Trump's turbulent economic policies, with a touch of Ronaldo-style flair. image
Headlines

Siiiuuu! Even CR7 Can't Save Your Portfolio From Trump's Trade Tantrums!

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 23:34
  • 3 minutes to read
Leo Messi, surprisingly, analyzes market predictions from 'Fast Money,' tackling tariffs, tech, and the potential for economic 'hand of God' moments. image
Headlines

Is My Next Goal Stock Market Glory? Messi's Take on Wall Street's Wild Ride!

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 23:34
  • 3 minutes to read
Your Captain Luffy reports on a guy named Cramer who says politicians should pay attention to folks investing their hard-earned treasure, not just the snooty rich guys who think they know everything about the Grand Line...er, I mean, the stock market! image
Headlines

Meat on the Bone! Luffy's Take on Why Politicians Should Listen to Investors (Not Just the Mega-Rich Jerks!)

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 23:37
  • 3 minutes to read
Despite looming tariffs, Samsung's Q1 earnings soar thanks to chip sales, proving that even the universe can't resist a good gadget. image
Headlines

Good News Everyone! Samsung Defies Trump's Tariffs, Rakes in the Space Cash!

  • Wed 30 April, 2025 00:23
  • 2 minutes to read
Jinx reports on the explosive new partnership between Waymo and Toyota to bring self-driving tech to your personal ride... because why not cause a little chaos? image
Headlines

Waymo and Toyota Team Up? More Like Team BOOM! Get Ready for Robotaxi Mayhem!

  • Wed 30 April, 2025 00:04
  • 2 minutes to read
Small businesses like Sarah's Handmade Ice Cream are feeling the pinch as tariffs drive up cocoa prices, forcing tough choices and potential price hikes. It's not just ice cream; it's the whole damn economy! image
Headlines

Ice Cream Apocalypse: Tariffs Threaten My Sweet Tooth, And Yours

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 21:34
  • 3 minutes to read
Amazon backpedals on tariff surcharge plans after White House pressure, while sellers and competitors brace for Trump's tariff impact. Is Bezos playing nice or just playing smart? image
Headlines

Amazon Swears Off Tariff Surcharges: 'It Wasn't Me!' They Said

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 20:55
  • 3 minutes to read
President Trump signs executive order easing auto tariffs, proving once again he's the best dealmaker the auto industry has ever seen! image
Headlines

Trump Saves American Autos: Deals on Wheels, Folks!

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 21:19
  • 3 minutes to read
President Trump's second term hits the 100-day mark, marked by heavy use of executive orders, trade tariffs, and downsizing the federal government. Is this the golden age, or did we just activate Halo? image
Headlines

Trump's First 100 Days: More Executive Orders Than a Spartan Has Plasma Grenades!

  • Tue 29 April, 2025 21:51
  • 2 minutes to read

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