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Jinx reports on how Elon Musk's xAI is throwing a mountain of cash at Telegram to unleash Grok, their AI chatbot, on the world. Prepare for chaos! image

Elon's Cash Cannon Shoots $300 Million at Telegram! Grok's Gone Global!

Wed 28 May, 2025 15:13
2 minutes to read

John Laurinaitis ditches Vince McMahon, agrees to cooperate in sex abuse lawsuit, leaving McMahon in a world of hurt, potentially bigger than when Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta! image

Vince McMahon's World About to Blow Up Like a Destructo Disk!

Wed 28 May, 2025 16:15
2 minutes to read

GameStop just bought a buttload of Bitcoin, trying to be the next MicroStrategy, and I'm just trying to figure out how to get free games! image

Holy Crap Lois! GameStop Goes Full Crypto Bro!

Wed 28 May, 2025 14:41
2 minutes to read

GameStop buys a boatload of Bitcoin, mirroring MicroStrategy's strategy. Will this save their bacon or send them to the farm? image

Holy Crap Lois! GameStop Just Went Full Bitcoin Bonanza!

Wed 28 May, 2025 14:41
2 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on Adobe's stock surge, driven by AI and strong financials, and details a strategy to capitalize on the upside using put options. Oh boy, oh boy! image

Adobe's Stock Soars! I'm Selling Puts, What's Next?! WAK!

Wed 28 May, 2025 15:17
3 minutes to read

Forrest Gump reports on Abercrombie & Fitch's mixed signals: Soaring shares despite tariff troubles and a profit outlook cut. It's like running a marathon, some days you're ahead, some days you're behind. image

Abercrombie's Ups and Downs: Like a Box of Chocolates, You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!

Wed 28 May, 2025 15:54
3 minutes to read

Mark Zuckerberg weighs in on the Trump administration's decision to ease restrictions on cryptocurrency investments in 401(k) plans, blending humor, satire, and a healthy dose of reality. image

Zuck on Crypto in Your 401(k): Is Trump Tweeting Your Retirement?

Wed 28 May, 2025 15:58
3 minutes to read

Tha Doggfather's takin' on CNBC's new book club, spreadin' love and knowledge, one page at a time. Let's get lit-erary, ya dig? image

Fo Shizzle, a Book Club? Snoop's Rollin' With CNBC Make It!

Wed 28 May, 2025 13:41
2 minutes to read

Despite market volatility, GE Vernova hits all-time highs, while other AI-linked industrial stocks struggle to keep up. Is it a lone wolf victory or a sign of changing tides in the AI sector? image

AI's Back in the Game: GE Vernova Surges, But Can Others Survive?

Wed 28 May, 2025 13:54
2 minutes to read

A breakdown of today's premarket trading frenzy, from Macy's mystical markdown strategies to GameStop's crypto crusade, all viewed through the discerning eyes of yours truly, Wonder Woman. image

By Hera! Stocks Soar and Sink: Wonder Woman's Take on Today's Market Mayhem!

Wed 28 May, 2025 12:29
3 minutes to read