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Peter Griffin gives his unique take on stock market volatility, potential opportunities, and why you should probably just buy beer instead. image

Holy Crap Lois, Stocks are Doing WHAT!?

Tue 15 April, 2025 21:11
3 minutes to read

Design software giant Figma is finally taking the plunge and filing for an IPO after a failed Adobe acquisition, and I, Donald Duck, am quacking with excitement... and a little confusion! image

Figma Goes Public?! What in the Wide, Wide World of Design is Goin' On!

Tue 15 April, 2025 21:53
2 minutes to read

Forrest Gump reports on United Airlines' profit forecast, economic uncertainties, and plans to cut domestic flights while international travel soars. image

United Airlines Predicts the Future Like a Box of Chocolates You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!

Tue 15 April, 2025 22:10
2 minutes to read

Reports indicate a significant number of IRS employees are considering a buyout offer, potentially shrinking the agency's workforce by a substantial percentage. image

IRS About to Shrink More Than My Metaverse User Base! Tax Season Just Got a Whole Lot Easier?

Tue 15 April, 2025 21:29
2 minutes to read

Nvidia faces a $5.5 billion charge due to US export restrictions on AI chips to China, raising concerns about competition and innovation. image

Nvidia's China Nightmare! Are Export Controls Killing Innovation?

Tue 15 April, 2025 22:13
2 minutes to read

A humorous take on CNBC's Investing Club report, focusing on cybersecurity stocks and potential portfolio adjustments, as if written by Elon Musk. image

Is This the ONLY Stock You Need Right Now?! (The Answer Might SHOCK You!)

Tue 15 April, 2025 18:51
3 minutes to read

Homeowners who have invested in energy-efficient upgrades may lose a valuable tax break as Republicans consider rolling back Inflation Reduction Act incentives to fund tax cuts. image

Going Green or Going Broke! Will Your Energy Saving Tax Credit Vanish?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 19:20
4 minutes to read

OpenAI and H&R Block team up to create an AI tax assistant, promising easier tax filing for professionals amidst tax code changes and IRS downsizing. image

Will AI Steal Your Tax Refund!?

Tue 15 April, 2025 17:29
4 minutes to read

Ragnar Lothbrok reports on how dividend-paying stocks like Albertsons, Corebridge Financial, and HCA Healthcare offer a haven for investors amidst market turbulence and tariff woes. He also ponders attending a shindig at the New York Stock Exchange. image

Gods of the Market Smile! Dividends Save Us From the Tariff Storm?

Tue 15 April, 2025 19:46
3 minutes to read

A high-ranking advisor to the U.S. Defense Secretary is escorted from the Pentagon amidst a leak investigation, raising questions about loyalty and secrets within the halls of power. image

Betrayal at the Pentagon! Has Another God Fallen?

Tue 15 April, 2025 19:44
2 minutes to read