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Showing 271 to 280 of 483 news articles

Donald Trump suggests the U.S. doesn't need to sign trade deals, contradicting previous statements from his administration. Dr. Evil weighs in, naturally. image

One MILLION Trade Deals! Dr. Evil Reveals Trump's Master Plan (Mwahahaha!)

Tue 06 May, 2025 20:00
2 minutes to read

The Fed is holding steady amidst trade tensions and economic uncertainty, waiting for clearer signals before making any moves on interest rates. Patience, young grasshoppers, patience. image

Federal Reserve in Neutral: More Than Meets the Eye?

Tue 06 May, 2025 19:03
2 minutes to read

Scorpion reports on the volatile stock market, where some companies suffer a fiery defeat and others... well, they're not quite dead yet! image

GET OVER HERE And See Which Stocks Are Toast! (Plus, One is Actually Rising!)

Tue 06 May, 2025 17:27
2 minutes to read

As Warren Buffett prepares to step down, the question of who will manage Berkshire Hathaway's massive stock portfolio looms large. Will Greg Abel, Todd Combs, or Ted Weschler take the reins, or will Berkshire bring in fresh blood? It's a financial action movie, and the suspense is killing me! image

Buffett's Billions: Who's Gonna Handle the Fortune After the Kung Fu Master of Finance Steps Down?

Tue 06 May, 2025 17:22
2 minutes to read

Ace Ventura investigates President Trump's surprising comments on trade deals, leaving investors puzzled and possibly in need of a tranquilizer dart. image

Alllllrighty Then! Trump Says 'No Deals,' But Is He Just Monkeying Around?

Tue 06 May, 2025 18:11
2 minutes to read

Captain America reports on recent price decreases in various sectors of the U.S. economy, cautioning against complacency as these trends may be short-lived. image

Avengers Assemble! Prices Drop (But Don't Get Too Excited, True Believers!)

Tue 06 May, 2025 12:51
4 minutes to read

Borat reports on the crazy world of American stocks, where companies go up, companies go down, and nobody knows why! Except maybe for tariffs. image

Great Success! Palantir Tumbles Like My Sister After Too Much Koumiss! Other Stocks Do Things Too!

Tue 06 May, 2025 12:24
2 minutes to read

Even if Trump chills with the tariffs, this hedge-fund billionaire reckons we're heading for new stock market lows. Time to invest in portal fluid, Morty! image

Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Paul Tudor Jones Says Stock Market's About to Get Schwifty!

Tue 06 May, 2025 13:26
2 minutes to read

A look at the recent price drops in gasoline, airfare, produce, and electronics, and why this temporary deflation is not part of my evil plan (yet). image

Mwahahaha! The Economy is... deflating? Is this my doing?

Tue 06 May, 2025 10:30
2 minutes to read

Goku reports on the stock market's wild ride, with some companies powering up like a Super Saiyan and others taking a bigger beating than Yamcha. image

Kamehame-HA! Stocks Do the Dragon Ball Dive (and Some Power Up!)

Mon 05 May, 2025 21:42
2 minutes to read