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From semiconductor slumps to crypto surges, Middle-earth's favorite wizard deciphers the day's market movements with a touch of humor and a sprinkle of Shire wisdom. image

A Shadow Falls on Wall Street: Gandalf's Guide to Market Mayhem!

Fri 16 May, 2025 17:20
3 minutes to read

The Federal Reserve plans to reduce its staff by 10%, leaving some wondering if this is a necessary quest or a Ganon-level threat to economic stability. image

The Fed's Great Deku Tree Shake-Up: Are We Ready to Roll?

Fri 16 May, 2025 17:59
3 minutes to read

Experts are saying gold could reach $5,000, and Bitcoin is like gold's crazy cousin! Mmm, gold... image

Doh! Gold Rush 2.0? Experts Say Shiny Metal Could Hit $5,000!

Fri 16 May, 2025 15:02
2 minutes to read

Indiana Jones dives into today's perplexing market movements, dodging financial snakes and deciphering cryptic corporate pronouncements. image

Fortune and Doom! Raiders of the Stock Market's Lost Ark!

Fri 16 May, 2025 12:12
2 minutes to read

Former Walmart U.S. CEO suggests the retail giant might be exaggerating the impact of tariffs, citing healthy profit margins and price deflation. image

Walmart's Waters Run Deep: Ex-CEO Smells a Rat in Tariff Talk

Thu 15 May, 2025 23:53
2 minutes to read

Morpheus reports on after-hours trading volatility for Applied Materials, Take-Two Interactive, Cava Group, and Doximity. Are these just numbers, or signs of a deeper system error? image

Reality Check: Are These Stocks Glitching or is it Just the Matrix?

Thu 15 May, 2025 21:13
3 minutes to read

A whimsical yet insightful look at today's stock market ups and downs, featuring everything from retail shake-ups to cybersecurity snafus, all filtered through the lens of yours truly. image

Zuck's Take on Today's Market Madness: From Foot Lockers to Phishing Hackers

Thu 15 May, 2025 16:03
2 minutes to read

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man breaks down the day's biggest stock market movers, from Walmart's earnings beat to Foot Locker's acquisition and Cisco's soaring success. Plus, some Trump-Apple drama? Web-believable! image

Spidey's Stock Market Swings: Walmart's Web, Foot Locker's Fall, and Cisco's Climb!

Thu 15 May, 2025 12:24
2 minutes to read

Bobby Axelrod dissects Jerome Powell's latest pronouncements on interest rates, inflation, and the Fed's policy review, with a healthy dose of skepticism and a prediction of market volatility. image

Axe on the Fed: Powell's Rate Revelation – Get Ready for a Wild Ride!

Thu 15 May, 2025 14:16
3 minutes to read

eToro's IPO filing reveals potential risks of operating in Israel, but the stock still popped. Is it a solid investment or a house of cards? image

eToro's IPO: Mazel Tov or Mazel Trouble? A Saul Goodman Analysis

Thu 15 May, 2025 12:54
2 minutes to read