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Showing 101 to 110 of 114 news articles

Cartman breaks down the latest stock market news, from Tesla's woes to Petco's CEO buying spree, and the ongoing saga of Newsmax's wild ride. image

Screw You Guys I'm Getting Rich! Stock Market Shenanigans That Will Make You Say Respect My Authoritah!

Wed 02 April, 2025 15:15
2 minutes to read

Conservative news channel Newsmax experiences a dramatic stock plunge after an initial surge, reminding us that even media empires can't outrun a bad investment...or a hungry alien. image

Newsmax Stock Implodes Did They Forget About the Xenomorph!?

Wed 02 April, 2025 20:01
2 minutes to read

Chinese companies are flooding the Hong Kong stock market, fueled by AI breakthroughs and renewed investor confidence, but can this golden age last, or will a Ganon-sized obstacle emerge? image

Hong Kong IPOs are Back! Is This Finally Hyrule's Era of Prosperity?!

Thu 03 April, 2025 03:01
3 minutes to read

Major companies like Lululemon, Nike, and tech giants are feeling the pinch as Trump's tariffs lead to stock drops and economic uncertainty. It's-a me, Mario, reporting live from the Mushroom Kingdom! image

Mama Mia! Tariffs are a Real Bowser Attack on Companies!

Thu 03 April, 2025 15:56
2 minutes to read

Lara Croft reports on the wild ride as Trump's tariffs send shockwaves through the stock market, leaving companies reeling and investors questioning their treasure maps. image

Trump's Tariffs Trigger Market Mayhem! Is Your Portfolio Doomed?

Thu 03 April, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

Fred Flinstone reports on China's likely response to new US tariffs, focusing on internal growth and strengthening global partnerships instead of a tit-for-tat trade war, kinda like when Wilma tries to outsmart me but ends up helping me in the end! image

Yabba Dabba Doo! Is China About to Flip the Script on the US Tariffs?!

Fri 04 April, 2025 03:25
3 minutes to read

China leads the way in flying taxi regulations, with commercial operations expected within years, while the U.S. lags behind. Buckle up, Earthlings, it's about to get wild! image

Flying Cars in China Are Real?! Is This the Future of Transportation?!

Fri 04 April, 2025 06:24
4 minutes to read

Active ETFs reach a colossal $1 trillion in assets, fueled by market volatility and a hunger for dynamic investment strategies. Hulk find this... interesting. image

Hulk Smash $1 Trillion! Active ETFs Roar Louder Than Gamma Ray!

Fri 04 April, 2025 11:00
2 minutes to read

Global markets reel as escalating trade tensions trigger significant losses across various sectors, from banking to tech and beyond. Even Stark Industries is nervous! image

Is the Sky Falling! Trade Wars and Tumbling Titans! What Would Peggy Do?

Fri 04 April, 2025 15:07
3 minutes to read

American traders bet on multiple interest rate cuts by the Federal Reserve this year amidst Trump's tariffs and recession fears, potentially leading to economic uncertainty. Chenqui! image

Great Success! American Money Men Predict Chaos and Rate Cuts Like Borat Predicts Wife's Mood!

Fri 04 April, 2025 13:52
3 minutes to read