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Volkswagen's Q1 profit plummets amidst Trump's tariff tango, but Ace Ventura is on the case to sniff out the truth! image

VW's Profit Takes a Dive! Did Someone Say Tariff-iffic Trouble?

Wed 30 April, 2025 06:04
3 minutes to read

Mr. Bean reports on Barclays' surprisingly good financial quarter, trade wars, and other confusing grown-up stuff, while trying not to spill tea on his trousers. image

Bean Counters: Barclays Bank Makes a Bob or Two!

Wed 30 April, 2025 06:23
3 minutes to read

Auto giant Stellantis chickens out of financial predictions faster than a T-1000 can morph, blaming Trump's trade policy for a revenue nosedive. I told you machines and politicians were trouble. image

Stellantis Pulls Guidance: Hasta la Vista, Baby... to Profit Forecasts!

Wed 30 April, 2025 06:17
2 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on the UK's new crypto regulations, aimed at cleaning up the digital duck pond and partnering with the US to keep those shady characters at bay! image

Aw, Phooey! Britain Clamps Down on Crypto Crooks!

Tue 29 April, 2025 16:02
2 minutes to read

A look at how Trump's policies are leaving European leaders, and even a humble footballer like myself, scratching their heads. image

Trump's Second Term: Even I'm Dribbling in Confusion!

Tue 29 April, 2025 09:27
3 minutes to read

Volvo Cars announces massive cost-cutting measures and withdraws financial guidance after a sharp drop in operating profit, leaving Doctor Evil pondering his next diabolical acquisition. image

Volvo's Billion Dollar Blunder: Is This My Chance to Buy a Car Company for ONE MILLION DOLLARS?

Tue 29 April, 2025 08:26
2 minutes to read

British oil giant BP faces investor pressure and fluctuating profits despite a recent strategic shift towards fossil fuels. Can they transform and roll out, or will they be scrapped? image

BP's Strategic Reset: More Than Meets the Eye? (Spoiler: Maybe Not)

Tue 29 April, 2025 07:07
3 minutes to read

Europe grapples with trade wars and Ukraine uncertainty as Trump's policies leave leaders 'reeling.' Even I, Batman, find this chaos... intriguing. image

Gotham Gazette Exclusive: Trump's First 100 Days - A Bat-Analysis of EU Turmoil

Tue 29 April, 2025 04:59
2 minutes to read

Darth Vader analyzes Deutsche Bank's surprisingly strong first quarter, navigating economic turbulence and U.S. tariff policies with a Force-choke hold on reality. image

Deutsche Bank Awakens: A Sith Lord's Take on Their Financial Force

Tue 29 April, 2025 06:20
2 minutes to read

Volvo Cars announces significant cost-cutting measures after a drop in operating profit, citing market headwinds and industry challenges. Can they steer back on course, or will it be a total fashion disaster? image

Volvo's Feeling a Little 'Ken-fused': Billion Dollar Cuts Hit the Road!

Tue 29 April, 2025 06:25
2 minutes to read