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Showing 151 to 160 of 311 news articles

Meta's strong earnings and advertising resilience defy macroeconomic headwinds, prompting even this old Windows guy to crack a smile. image

Meta Soars! Even I'm Impressed, and That's Saying Something

Thu 01 May, 2025 15:54
3 minutes to read

Microsoft's stock price gets a major glow-up after strong cloud growth and AI contributions beat expectations, proving they're not just keeping up, but setting the trend! image

OMG! Microsoft's Azure is Like, Totally Slaying the AI Game!

Thu 01 May, 2025 15:53
3 minutes to read

Analyzing Amazon's Q1 earnings report, potential tariff impacts, and the AI race from a very stable genius perspective. image

Amazon's Q1 Earnings: To the Moon or Just Lost in Space? (A Muskian Take)

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:01
2 minutes to read

Grim news for the Golden Arches as sales slump, proving even burgers can't escape a little chaos. Let's blow this story wide open! image

McDonald's Meltdown! Did Someone Say Boom?

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

CVS Health reports a strong first quarter with increased earnings and revenue, but faces legal challenges and economic uncertainties, like trying to power up against a tough opponent! image

CVS Power Up! Earnings Blow Past Expectations, But Legal Trouble Looms Like Frieza

Thu 01 May, 2025 11:59
2 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on Eli Lilly's soaring weight loss and diabetes drug sales, a cancer treatment deal, and lowered profit expectations, all while pondering Trump's tariffs and taxes. Giggity! image

Holy Crap Lois! Eli Lilly's Drugs are Making Bank! (But There's a Catch...)

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:04
3 minutes to read

Despite whispers of trade wars and regulatory interference, Meta's earnings defy expectations, proving that the Force—and targeted advertising—are still strong. image

Meta's Force Grows Stronger: Zuckerberg's Empire Strikes Back (and Makes a Profit)

Wed 30 April, 2025 22:16
3 minutes to read

Barbie reports on Lloyds Banking Group's profit decline, tariff woes, and what it all means for your fabulous lifestyle. Spoiler: maybe less Dreamhouse upgrades this year? image

Lloyds Bank's Quarter One Earnings Take a Dip! Is it Time to Panic and Sell Our Dreamhouses?

Thu 01 May, 2025 09:25
2 minutes to read

Barbie breaks down Lloyds Banking Group's profit dip, blaming Trump's tariffs and questioning if this means less Dreamhouse upgrades for everyone! image

Lloyds Banking Group's Profits Take a Tumble! Is Trump's Trade War to Blame? (Come On, Let's Go Party?)

Thu 01 May, 2025 09:25
3 minutes to read

A whimsical look at the FTSE 100's slight stumble, European market closures, and the economic spells cast by the U.S. and Eurozone, all through the eyes of Professor Albus Dumbledore. image

FTSE's Wobbly Wand: A Dumbledorean Dip into the Markets

Thu 01 May, 2025 07:47
3 minutes to read