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Showing 121 to 130 of 303 news articles

Block (formerly Square) stock plunges after a disappointing earnings report, with analysts pointing fingers at Cash App's stagnant user growth and uncertain monetization strategy. Will Jack Dorsey pull off a miracle, or is this the beginning of the end? image

Block's Cash App Catastrophe: Is Jack Dorsey Cooking Up a Hail Mary or Just Burning the Tendies?

Fri 02 May, 2025 14:25
2 minutes to read

Chevron's Q1 earnings take a nosedive amid falling oil prices and global economic headwinds, forcing a scaled-back stock repurchase plan. Time to adapt and survive, folks! image

Chevron's Profit Plunges! Is Big Oil About to Implode Like a Badly Packed Parachute?

Fri 02 May, 2025 12:27
2 minutes to read

Ragnar Lothbrok reports on ExxonMobil's recent plundering...err, earnings, where shiny black gold flows even as the gods of trade war conspire. image

Exxon's Treasure: More Shiny Rocks for the Allfather (and Shareholders)

Fri 02 May, 2025 11:37
2 minutes to read

NatWest's Q1 profits skyrocket, fueled by strategic priorities and government stake reduction. Sounds like someone's planning something, and I don't like it. image

NatWest's Profits Surge: Are We Sure Skynet Isn't Involved?

Fri 02 May, 2025 06:24
2 minutes to read

NatWest's Q1 profits surge 36%, government stake dwindles, and Tony Montana smells a sweet deal brewing. image

Say Hello To My Little Profits! NatWest's Bank Account Explodes!

Fri 02 May, 2025 06:24
3 minutes to read

Standard Chartered's first-quarter profits are up, and I want a piece of the action! They're swimming in cash from wealth management and global markets, while all I got is this stupid Kenny... image

Screw You Guys, I'm Making Bank! Standard Chartered is Totally Raking it In!

Fri 02 May, 2025 06:27
2 minutes to read

Shell's first-quarter profits take a dive, but the hunt for shareholder satisfaction continues with a $3.5 billion buyback. Is this 'stick around'? image

Shell's Profit Plunge: Another Solid Set of...Prey?

Fri 02 May, 2025 06:22
3 minutes to read

Standard Chartered Bank blasts past first-quarter profit expectations, fueled by wealth management and global markets. Can they handle the cosmic rays of Trump's tariffs? image

Standard Chartered's Profit Soars Higher, Further, Faster! (And No, I Didn't Invest)

Fri 02 May, 2025 04:27
2 minutes to read

Luffy reports on Venmo's surprising growth while Cash App struggles to find its treasure, leaving even the Pirate King wondering what's going on! image

Shishishi! Venmo's Got the Meat on the Bone! Cash App Lost in the Grand Line?

Fri 02 May, 2025 00:27
3 minutes to read

Apple's latest earnings report reveals a mixed bag: iPhone sales beat expectations, China held steady, but a minor service revenue miss sent the stock tumbling faster than Nibbler falling into a dark matter infested toilet. image

Good News Everyone! Apple Sort Of Did Okay (But Don't Get Your Hopes Up)

Fri 02 May, 2025 00:43
2 minutes to read