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A look at Palantir's soaring revenues, driven by AI adoption and government contracts, through the wise eyes of Albus Dumbledore. image

Palantir's Prophecy Fulfilled: AI Boom Foretold!

Mon 05 May, 2025 20:19
3 minutes to read

Ford Motor Company navigates tricky financial waters, with tariffs threatening 2025 predictions, much like I navigate American customs with my 'cultural learnings'. image

Great Success or Very Naughty? Ford Faces Tariff Troubles Like Kazakhstan Faces Potassium Shortage!

Mon 05 May, 2025 16:00
2 minutes to read

Hermione Granger reports on a topsy-turvy start to the week in European markets, complete with Swiss surprises, Polish partnerships, and the usual dose of economic uncertainty. image

Oh, Honestly! European Markets Do the Hokey Pokey: A Muggle's Guide to Monday's Mayhem

Mon 05 May, 2025 07:53
2 minutes to read

Berkshire Hathaway's Q1 earnings stumble, but the Oracle of Omaha's ship is still navigating uncertain waters with a mountain of cash. image

Great Kryptonite! Buffett's Berkshire Takes a Dip, But Still Soaring Higher Than a speeding bullet!

Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
3 minutes to read

Berkshire Hathaway's Q1 2025 earnings dip, but the cash pile grows, leaving even MJ wondering what Buffett's next move will be. image

Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway Takes a Dunk: Even the Oracle Can't Predict the Tariff Game!

Sat 03 May, 2025 14:12
2 minutes to read

The stock market's been on a roll, with tech giants like Microsoft and Meta leading the charge. But even with some unexpected twists, like Bezos selling Amazon shares, the overall outlook remains brighter than a freshly polished Golden Snitch. image

Accio Profits! Muggle Market Magic: A Week of Wonders (and a Few Dementors)

Fri 02 May, 2025 18:32
3 minutes to read

Eaton's first quarter shines bright with solid earnings, but tariffs and AI model shifts raise questions, like a disturbance in the Force. image

Eaton's Force Strong, Yet Tariff Shadows Loom, Hmmm?

Fri 02 May, 2025 19:45
2 minutes to read

The whisker-twitching truth about how tariff turmoil and wobbly wallets are giving tech giants a case of the gato blues. image

Ay, Caramba! Trump's Trade Tango Trips Up Tech Titans!

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:45
3 minutes to read

DuPont's shares jumped after beating expectations in Q1, driven by electronics growth and a promising breakup plan despite tariff concerns. Now that's what I call a Waffle! image

DuPont's Q1 Earnings: Even a Donkey Can See the Sunshine!

Fri 02 May, 2025 18:22
2 minutes to read

Rocky Balboa reports on Chevron slowing down share buybacks due to falling crude prices, proving even oil giants ain't immune to a little economic punch. image

Yo Adrian! Chevron's Buybacks Take a Body Blow!

Fri 02 May, 2025 14:09
3 minutes to read